What to do with too much body hair?

May 24, 2007 8:03 AM

Excessive body hair... what to do? (Probably NSFW)

Okay, so I'm a 20 y/o male. And I'm hairy. We're talking a good 1/2 inch to 2 inches (dependent on region) of growth from top of head all the way down to my toenails.

I'm having a few issues with it in the, erm, downstairs region.

Basically its excessively long in the undercarriage region, and have been using hair removal cream in the surrounding areas, but there is still some hair close to the, erm, number 2 hole region that I'm not wanting to go near with wax, razor or hair removal cream. I'm having to keep it clear due to being hospitalised with Pilonidal sinuses (google it - but expect some not very nice images) twice already in my short number of years, and I'm petfied in getting them again)

So basically, my question is: what to do about it? Its got to the extent where I have a shower after every number 2, and its just a bit crazy, and a lot of effort. Is there a hair removal option I haven't thought about? Something relatively easy?

Is anyone else here exceptionally hairy? How do you cope with it?

Thanks for your time. Posted anonymously as some peers read MeFi and I don't want this conversation down the pub later...

posted by anonymous to health & fitness (14 answers total)

Laser hair removal.
posted by contessa at 8:12 AM on May 24, 2007

Have you tried Cottonelle Wipes? Mini shower every time! I highly recommend them.

Also, how about just trimming instead of completely removing the extra hair? Men's beard trimmers knock down just about anything in short order.
posted by odi.et.amo at 8:13 AM on May 24, 2007

why not get it waxed? It hurts pretty bad the first time, but afterwards it's really not that bad. Plus, the more you wax, the finer and thinner the hair gets. I wax my bikini line myself and it really doesn't even hurt anymore. My friend waxed her armpits from 16-20 and now she doesn't even have to do it anymore because all of the hair has disappeared.

If you get a pro to do it, it'll be quick and the pain will be over fast. They've seen it all, like a doctor has, so I'm sure they wouldn't be freaked out by waxing the inner part of your ass.

There is also laser treatment, but it is expensive and painful, I hear. And I'm not sure you can get laser treatment on a really sensitive area.
posted by sutel at 8:14 AM on May 24, 2007

Check out the Norelco Bodygroom. I just bought one and I love it. No discomfort at all and you can use it in the shower. Plus it isn't very expensive, I bought mine for 30.00.
posted by ISeemToBeAVerb at 8:24 AM on May 24, 2007

I don't think the Norelco Bodygroom will work with the amount of hair you are talking about.... I've heard it only works when removing more minimal amounts of hair, and gets clogged if you try to remove a lot. Definitely trim everything down first (the beard trimmers sounds like a good call) to a reasonable length, then decide where to go from there...
posted by stilly at 8:50 AM on May 24, 2007

Well then try a nice Wahl clipper set. Keeping the hair relatively short will make it manageable. Hair removal cream, razors, and lasers may give you a brief period of hairlessness, but they're expensive and/or a lot of trouble. If you can live with 1/8-inch of hair in all the right places, clippers are a lot easier to deal with. I've got my own private jungle theme park too, but not on the order of 2 inches. It's completely manageable at a shorter length. You don't need to fully remove all hair.

Watch out for "flushable" wipes. Depending on your plumbing, they may still clog everything up. Instead, get a bathroom trash can that has a lid, buy regular baby wipes, and just toss them in the trash afterward. Might sound gross but it's no biggie.
posted by scarabic at 9:00 AM on May 24, 2007

Seconding scarabic. In my experience, the ladies (assuming you like them, of course) seem to prefer short fur over none at all.
He's right about it being more managable too.
posted by Kreiger at 9:10 AM on May 24, 2007

Why not start by using a small pair of scissors and a mirror to do most of the dirty work and then follow up with some sort of trimmer?
posted by dagnyduquette at 9:11 AM on May 24, 2007

A bidet or a spray hose attached to the toilet could be the saviour of your all day freshness.
posted by rongorongo at 9:37 AM on May 24, 2007

why not get it waxed? ... If you get a pro to do it, it'll be quick and the pain will be over fast. They've seen it all, like a doctor has, so I'm sure they wouldn't be freaked out by waxing the inner part of your ass.

He would have to really shop around, possibly to the extent of finding an all-male / gay waxing place. While the waxers might not be all that squeamish, a lot of places won't deal with men's bikini zones.

The toilet wipes could help keep lint, dead skin debris, loose hair etc out of those pilonidal problem spots. As long as you're wiping away from them, and not jamming debris into them. I had one once, not pleasant at all. Haven't had one since (knock on wood), and I haven't had surgery or been constantly trimming back there.
posted by CKmtl at 9:49 AM on May 24, 2007

To start off lightly.. do not shave your ass hair.

Its got to the extent where I have a shower after every number 2

Believe it or not, this practice is common in much of the world that's blessed with bidets (mostly Europe and South America). Perhaps you'd find installing one useful if you own your own home.
posted by wackybrit at 10:08 AM on May 24, 2007

If you have the funds or the wherewithal either install a bidet or a Japanese bidet style toilet OR you could retrofit a washlet (NSFW) toilet seat which has jets of water, dryer/heater and a remote.
posted by jadepearl at 11:55 AM on May 24, 2007

Also, you certainly don't want hair removal if you have a history of pilonoidal sinus. Trim it, removing it invites the inevitable "ingrown hairs", smaller certainly than sinuses but more frequent and they can become quite large and painful, especially since you can't exactly see them back there.
In many parts of the world it is common to wash, and even where there isn't a showerhead strategically positioned nearby, a simply plastic jug of water, or Aftabe(Sp?), can help.
posted by Wilder at 2:35 AM on May 30, 2007

I've had the surgery. It's a bit worse than the disease, but recurrence is slim. Anyway, when I needed to rinse, I remembered something my wife was given by the hospital after childbirth. It was a plastic squeeze bottle with a J-shapped nozzle. When the bottle was inverted, water could be squeezed out the nozzle spraying upwards. It's less convenient, but a heck of a lot cheaper than installing a bidet.
posted by kc0dxh at 10:21 AM on May 30, 2007