I am such an idiot.
August 30, 2006 12:09 PM Subscribe
How do I regain my husband's trust?
No I didn't cheat on him, thank goodness.
Long story short:
1. I have been intermittently dissatisfied with my relationship. It's my own fault. I bring problems on myself, and create disharmony. I am not outwardly mean, but I ignore my husband at times, slack with my duties around the house, and get anoyed with his personality and behavior. I have especially become very discouraged that we have no mutual friends. I have my friends, but he has hardly any. He doesn't like to socialize, so I have become resentful that we weren't living the way I had envisioned. I don't need lavish dinner parties. A barbeque or a night out with friends that we both share would make me happy, but we don't even have that.
2. Because of this disenchantment I have started running my mouth to my sister, and a good friend of mine. I complain about him, and even conveyed the idea that I am too good for him. Terrible, I know. I have a group of girlfriends, and I sometimes joke about my husband (in a light-hearted way--his attempts to make me laugh, grooming habits, etc.), and I get a lot of laughs. I feel terribly guilty about it afterward. Nobody else is saying bad things about their husbands, and it feels wrong. I even wrote about my disenchantment on a message board, and my husband found it. He wasn't snooping. I left the message board open, and he clicked on my screen name. Now he feels completely betrayed and has even said that he would like to leave me, but doesn't have the guts. The reason he feels betrayed is because my "good friend" relayed to me a hurtful remark that another friend made about my husband's personality. I wrote about it on my internet post. I was upset that my friend would tell me something so hurtful about my husband. Beacuase I didn't tell her to go to hell, it offended my husband.
I have told him that I am deeply sorry, and my complaints stem from my own insecurites, and there is nothing wrong with him. We have two young children.
How can I repair my relationship?