What conversations should we have before living in sin?
July 17, 2014 10:36 AM Subscribe
Dear hive mind, please suggest items for a checklist of issues/expectations/questions to discuss with my significant other before we shack up next month! I was reading this
question and saw that many people felt that they would never move in with a partner before discussing their finances with a certain level of detail. I would love to know what other rules of thumb people have about establishing a mutual understanding, financially, emotionally, housework-wise, etc. before cohabiting. Possibly relevant details inside.
posted by erstwhile ungulate to Human Relations (30 answers total) 30 users marked this as a favorite
I know generally that we’re supposed to talk about division of chores/expenses/private time but what particular questions on with level of detail have people found useful? My partner is more of a figure-it-out-as-we-go-along type of person and I'm a bit more of a planner.
Personal details if it makes a difference: We both see moving in together as an intermediate step towards getting married, when we would combine our finances. We will be making approximately equal incomes, with him earning a bit more. We both believe in an egalitarian distribution of housework and decision making power. We generally get along very easily. We are a mid-20s hetero couple, living in a large city, about to start our first jobs after professional school right after we move in together. With two big life changes (jobs+moving in together) coinciding, I'd love to try to make the transition as smooth as possible, without expecting that we can plan everything ahead of time.