What is the most polite way to turn down a request for a second date?
June 13, 2014 12:46 PM Subscribe
So, I've jumped into online dating. It's going oddly better than expected, such that I now have a couple etiquette questions: 1) how do I politely turn down a request for a second date? He seems like a kind person and I'd like to avoid hurting his feelings inasmuch as possible, but I wasn't quite feeling that spark of attraction. Is there some equivalent of Miko's breakup talk for this that will help here, something clear but gentle? Also...
posted by maggiepolitt to Human Relations (28 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
2) what's the expected lag time between first date and text asking for a second? I hadn't heard from this dude for a couple days, so I had assumed, with a sense of relief, that the Not Feeling It was mutual. I guess I figured if the thing had gone well, or seemed to go well from on one party's side, you'd text the next day. Is that off base? Do most people wait a day or two?
3) in general, how much time to I have to respond to a text before I begin to seem like a jerk?
4) also, in re chatting on the site itself, again, I'd assumed if I a conversation went dead for a couple days that was a clear sign of disinterest. But I recently had someone message me back after about a week between messages, no mention of being busy or anything. Is that pretty typical? I know people often fade pretty easily online and was prepared for that. But now I'm worried I might be needlessly writing people off if they don't get back right away.
These are terribly petty problems, but I'm all of a fluster and want to not be an asshole. Forgive me, dear AskMe.