That went well, right?
September 26, 2013 5:59 PM Subscribe
Had a great first date with a woman who seems pretty busy. She cancelled our second date, asked for a rain check, and I haven't heard from her since. What's the etiquette here?
posted by anonymous to human relations (21 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Last Sunday, after a week of really upbeat and engaged messaging on OkCupid, I had a date with a woman.
I showed up, waited for a bit, went to check my phone, and realized I'd sent it through the dryer. Got back home, messaged her to ask why she hadn't shown, and it turns out she'd texted me to change venues somewhere closer to home. Apologies were exchanged, and we rescheduled for Wednesday.
We meet up at 8pm, get to talking, and have (in my view) a great time. We talk about a number of really specific shared interests, laugh, do some minor affectionate touching, change to a quieter bar. When all is said and done it's 1am, we've talked for 5 hours on first meeting. I walk her to her bike, and she gives me a hug. That's a good first date, right?
The next day I message her to ask if she'd like to do something on Saturday. She's already got plans, and suggests Sunday. Sunday rolls around and I message to confirm in the morning, and she cancels (she's a grad student and has procrastinated), asking if I might be available during the week. I say Tuesday or Wednesday.
I haven't heard back since. OkCupid informs me she's online pretty often, a fact I'd rather not know. I tend to wonder whether she's waiting on a message from me (why not just initiate?), or looking for someone else (why agree to, then try to reschedule, the second date?).
Would it make sense to ping her again next week? My gut reaction is that the ball in her court, and that all I can do is wait. If she'd had as good a time as I did, she wouldn't need a reminder. If I don't hear from her in a few days, I probably never will.