I feel like I'm stuck in a moment.
March 11, 2014 5:07 AM Subscribe
I’m currently broken up with a woman I’ve been in an on and off relationship with for the last 4 years and I want to finally close the door, let go and move on.
posted by blokefromipanema to Human Relations (16 answers total)
A couple of months ago my ex ended the relationship. We met online. We’re both middle aged and have previously been married and have grown up kids It’s the third time she has done this over the last 4 years. Each time previously she has ended it and then months, and in one case a year, later got back in touch and we carried on where we left off. I think she ends it because ultimately she doesn't love me, even though when we were together she tells me she does. As you can imagine it's very confusing.
In the off periods I have found that I have been obsessed with her. Not in a stalking sense as I always go no contact after break up, but just in my head.
Previously in those periods I have tried online dating and other things to absorb me. I even tried counselling and hypnotherapy, but I still thought about her way too much.
I don’t want to do all this again as I feel it didn’t work, it costs money and it filled me with self loathing that I had given her so much power over me.
My problem is that I feel myself in a kind of limbo, feeling like she may be in touch again. I don’t want to be in this limbo and I know that this relationship was unhealthy for me
My questions are:
1. How do I stop obsessing?
2. How do I let go?
3. How do I move on?
Has anyone been in a similar situation and if so how did you deal with it?