What should a lady write to get a date?
February 18, 2014 7:17 PM Subscribe
Men of Mefi who have ever messaged a lady on OkCupid, what specifically
made you want to message her, in her profile?
posted by stockpuppet to Human Relations (29 answers total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
I hope this is not too chat-filtery; I really do have a specific question here.
I'm looking for something in the written portion of the profile that was appealing to you. Regardless of whether or not she messaged you back. If the answer is genuinely just "her pictures, her age, the fact that she was a non-smoker, her height, that she had no kids" or whatever, that's fine, but that's not what I'm looking for. I don't want a magic answer; I just genuinely have no idea what is or is not appealing to men reading profiles. I am pretty clueless so any advice would help.
I'm really wondering whether it's better to be earnest and overly sincere, or funny and breezy. Also wondering if the length of the profile is a positive or negative. If there is any general, sensible advice on what is more appealing than not appealing in an OKCupid profile, for a straight woman, that would be appreciated. It's completely possible I am doing something hugely wrong without knowing it. I am really leaning towards, it's better to be kind of brief, boring, and unoffensive, but that is just my feeling. I would also be interested to hear if anyone (male or female) went completely balls-out crazy and detailed and free and let their entire personality hang out there, and if that approach actually paid off for them.
Basically, how do I do OkCupid right? How do I avoid doing OkCupid massively wrong?
I realize this is going to vary a lot person by person, but I feel like there's probably some general advice that I'm missing.