I can't afford to celebrate my friends' weddings like this!
January 28, 2014 8:27 AM Subscribe
Practical: Any ideas for fun-but-cheap bachelorette weekend accommodations or activities around the central East Coast?
Context: I'm the last single friend of our group of friends, and the most broke. I'm comfortable with talking about money, but my friends are WASPier types who'd prefer to never, ever discuss anything to do with finances, and tend to change the subject abruptly when it comes up.
This is a problem when I'm expected to pitch in for something that I really can't afford, but that everyone else can. I'm thinking the best solution is to pitch an alternative that I can
posted by magdalemon to Human Relations (19 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Following a busy 2012-2013 wedding season among our group of lifelong friends, my two Very Best Friends are getting married in 2014. One wedding in summer (Friend A), the other in fall (Friend B). We each live about 5 hours apart by car, and air travel is not an option.
I live with a very tight budget. I work full-time at a job that I love but for a very low salary, plus I've a ton of consumer & student loan debt that takes most of my paychecks. Further, my finances are somewhat drained after paying to attend 8 weddings over the last year. But now it's time to celebrate two friends I really care about and want to make sure they have a good time.
Friend B is very financially secure, and her parents actively support her. Parents also own two beach houses. Friend B and I are planning A's bachelorette party for spring, and so far the plan is modest but still outside of my financial comfort zone. B has outright ignored my question to her regarding use of her parents' beach house, and is now proceeding with a plan that I'm pretty sure will cost more than the $200 I can afford for the weekend.
Selfish ulterior motive for wanting to do it up right: I do feel a little bitter about this massive expenditure of time and resources over the last couple of years, and antsy that if/when I have my own wedding/bachelorette thing in the next few years, these friends will be too busy with babies, etc. I'd want my friends to go to the same amount of trouble for me as I did for them, and I'm afraid I'm missing the window for that to be possible (we're all turning 30 this year). But I really, really don't want to be bitter, or cling to expectations, about this at any step of the way.
So, in addition to wanting ideas for alternatives I can pitch, I'm asking:
- How can I shower my friends with love without spending a bunch of money?
- How can I communicate about money to friends who don't communicate about money?
- How can I ask for friends to dig into their own resources (e.g. parents' beach houses), or should I even try?
- How can I not be bitter about spending time/energy/PTO days/money on 10+ weddings without enjoying a spotlight of my own?