In a situation where I'm meeting up with people whom I'm potentially getting to know, how do I know if I'm getting the brush off?
So, this is a kind of a follow-up/sibling to this question
, which I also posted. This question concerns a different person, but the same stuff I mentioned previously about my having social anxiety, Asperger's, etc. still applies and is still worth mentioning here.
Anyway. I take classes at this gym. There's a guy that I've been talking to. We have a few things in common and we've had a few good conversations both before and after our class. He has a girlfriend whom I've met a few times but haven't really talked to. Both of them seem nice.
He and I both like to go to shows at art galleries so during our last conversation a few days ago, I asked him and his girlfriend to come along to this show that was opening the following day. I explained that I was doing that because they seemed nice, and that I was new to NYC and didn't know that many people. He told me that his girlfriend is really busy now (and she genuinely seems to be) but that he'd check with her and see if they could come. He told me of some group that meets in our neighborhood and said that he'd tell me when they next met, and I then gave him a card with my email address just in case there was ever anything in the near future. He said we'd keep in touch. He seemed receptive, or at the very least not unpleasant. I don't think he minds my talking to him, at least not according to body language. I don't think I creeped him out, or at least I hope I didn't.
The opening came and went and they didn't come. I did have to leave early, though, and got worried that maybe they had actually came and I wasn't there. I saw him the next day before another class. I asked him if he went and explained about my having to leave early. He said no and mumbled that he went to bed early. There is another opening next weekend, that we had mentioned in our previous conversation, and I asked him if he was attending that. He said probably not, that they had plans with friends, but that he'd check with his girlfriend. He said he'd let me know. He told me to have a good class. I looked at him after he said that and he kind if appeared to be looking at the ground.
This was an early class, but he didn't seem as cheerful and at ease as he had during our last conversation. I'm worried that he was saying all that he had said just to be polite and that he had no intention to meet up at all and I was just getting the brush off. I'm even more worried that I just plain creeped him out.
(OK. I'll admit that I truly worry about this half the time. The other half, I give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was acting the way he was because the class is early, etc., etc. and that they are both really busy.)
So, how do I know whether or not he would be interested in meeting up? Is there any way to tell? How do I suggest future meet ups?
It would be one thing if it were like with the person I mentioned in my last question-- that is, if I just emailed him and he never responded. But I've been talking to this person for a while, and I thought we were cool, and then this happens. I enjoy this person's company, and his girlfriend seems nice, and I hope that neither of them hate me. Also, unlike with the person in my last question, I will run into this person again, and I just don't want to make things awkward.
Lastly, in case it wasn't evident in my last question, I am highly sensitive to rejection, tend to take certain things very, very personally and am deeply bothered by uncertainty in social situations. Yes, I am working with a therapist on this, but I can't see her for at least a week due to financial/time reasons. Yes, I am very, very, very messed up. Knowing what's going on here, or at least having some sort of clue, would help me better deal with this. I really wish people would be honest sometimes-- I'm always worrying that I'm creeping someone out or bothering them, and it's just so agonizing to have to deal with.
(I think I should mention that I am meeting/trying to make plans with other people but just have questions right now about this particular situation. Thank you.)