A friendly rejection
August 18, 2013 4:54 PM Subscribe
What's the friendliest way to decline future dates from someone you've been out with a few times but just aren't that into?
posted by greta simone to human relations (14 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
I'm a 30 year old straight woman in Brooklyn that's been doing the whole OKCupid dating thing for years now. I have learned enough about myself and dating to know after two or three dates that I don't (or do) want to head toward a relationship. I've probably been out with 15 or 20 people that are perfectly nice or with whom I have a lot of fun but with whom I don't want to pursue a relationship. A good half of these people probably feel the same way, but then there are the ones I can tell like me more than I like them who will ask me to go out again. What's the nicest/best way to turn these guys down?
For example--I've seen S twice in the last two weeks. He's smart and funny and attractive and all that, but I know for various reasons that I don't want to keep dating him. He texted me saying that he really likes me and asking when he could see me again. What's the best way to respond? I usually say some variety of "Hey I think you're fun and attractive but I think we'd be better off as friends [which I would sincerely be okay with] than dating". I feel like there's some better way to say it, but maybe not. What do you say when turning down likable/friendly people that you don't want to date in order to do the least damage to their self-confidence?