Like the old Twinkie mystery, but with sex.
January 10, 2013 4:37 AM Subscribe
Got a message out of the blue on a social network the other day from an ex; mentioned it to my partner (we're both big believers in transparency when it comes to random messages from exes) and we're each taking a different read from the message, so we figured we'd turn to the hivemind for input.
posted by MarchHare to human relations (60 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
The message reads as follows (with edits to protect privacy and resist googlability): "Hey, Had a vivid dream last night about you and the good 'ol days! We sure had some fun! (winking smiley face emoticon). Thought I'd just say hi and hope you're doing well! Hope (city) is treating you like you deserved; are you still working in (industry)? Tell me about your wonderful partner and family!"
Now, I take that as read. The ex and I did used to have a lot of fun, and this sounds like someone who is just reaching out at random to an old flame they've not spoken to in a while, hoping they're doing okay.
My girlfriend, however, thinks the presence of a winking smiley indicates that this must've been a particularly sexy dream, which makes this rather different from just a friendly 'hi'. She posits that it reads as someone whose relationship is on the rocks and is looking back to past partners and 'fishing for potential leads', so to speak. I'd normally say that's a stretch, but of her many talents, one of them is a seriously decent gut feel for what turn out to be awkward situations and/or sketchy individuals.
If it was someone else's ex, I'd happily defer to her gut feel, but I'm really hoping she's wrong in this case. The ex in question and I broke it off because she still had feelings for her previous boyfriend, with whom she'd been with for several years, wanted to give it one last shot, and they've been together ever since. I've no hard feelings there; we parted well, I genuinely want her to be happy, and I think the experiences of that relationship helped to make me the person my girlfriend loves today. And the idea that my ex might be falling out with the guy she chased happiness with makes me just a little sad.
So, do you think my girlfriend's radar is so highly tuned it's picking up on signs that aren't there, or am I just oblivious and/or predisposed to see what I'm wanting to see?