Live together? No, apart.
October 9, 2012 8:29 PM Subscribe
Couples who lived together, then moved apart: did you end up together in the end?
posted by chrisfromthelc to human relations (36 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I've been unofficially living with my girlfriend for about 9 months now (been together a total of a year). She lives in the same metro as me, but far enough away that driving back and forth is a huge pain for both of us, given our work schedules. For the most part, things have gone well. We've worked on home projects together, taken trips, all the things you'd expect couples living together to do.
That is, until recently. There have been some issues that she's had trouble getting over. I was dragged to a strip club by my friend's friends during his bachelor party; I didn't even go in, but I couldn't get a cab before they decided to come out and leave anyhow (it's a somewhat rural area). I told her about it (didn't want her to hear it from someone else), and it's been a never-ending stream of pain and hate from her since then. After days of fighting and then calm, and then back to fighting over, and over, and over, she said that we should take a week of not seeing each other (I'd stay at the apartment I still have). That was Sunday.
Today, she says she wants to no longer live with me, and that it would be at least a year before she'd even consider marriage. Before this (two weeks ago!), all she could talk about is how she wanted children and to be married. I wanted the same thing.
I feel like this is just the first step to her pushing me out of her life. That, no matter how much I bend over and take it, it'll never be good enough. That we'll go from living 20 miles apart to seeing each other once a week, to once a month, and then never. I feel like even though she's asking me to move out, she'll be the one to resent me for not being there all the time (which, is part of the reason I was there in the first place; every time I'd be away, it was non-stop texts and calls about how she missed me and wished I was there and wondering when I'd get back).
I guess what I'm looking for is some hope.
Did you move out, but finally end up together? What was your situation? Do you wish it happened differently?