Moving cross country together without too many tears
June 16, 2014 2:03 PM Subscribe
I'll be moving with my boyfriend to a new city in a few months. It'll be the first time either of us have lived with a partner, or with each other, or in this new city. We know it's going to be stressful, but how can we make it less so?
posted by good day merlock to Human Relations (28 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
We've been dating for about three years, and are both in our mid-to-late twenties. We've both decided it's time to get out of NYC, and fell in love with a city that fits pretty much all of our needs and desires. It's closer to my family, but far away (still a direct flight, though) to his in NY.
Moving in together alone would be stressful, but considering we're also moving to a brand-new city and state for both of us, we know that's adding on another heaping scoopful of stress. We're both self-aware of ourselves, our mental health, and our anxiety triggers, and we handle arguments and stress well. We're also a good team, and very much in love and (informally, not headed towards marriage right now) planning on spending our lives together. I think we have a pretty damn good relationship, but this much change would be stressful on anyone, and I can already feel myself getting scared (and we've discussed him having similar feelings). But I'm still so excited, and it's definitely something we both want to do — we just know it's gonna be hard. And awesome. But hard.
As a side note, I deal with a lot of anxiety about relationships (as you can see in my past questions and answers!). Most of this is dealt with, but anxiety and irritability still pop up when the relationship is under a lot of stress. So I'll want to think of ways to address this, too.
Any tips for balancing the stress of moving to a new city AND moving in with each other at the same time without biting each others' head off?