Alone Abroad: Help me cope with anxiety and flashbacks
September 18, 2012 6:12 AM Subscribe
How can I make sensible choices when I'm not feeling my best?
posted by EatMyHat to human relations (7 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
I'm struggling with anxiety and flashbacks from a bad experience. I was supposed to be living alone but my landlord gives me the creeps, and being alone in a big house feels really eerie and makes me more anxious. My neighbour kindly offered me to stay with him temporarily. It worked for a while but our schedules don't mesh, and for ages I haven't been getting enough sleep because he stays up late but gets up early for work whereas I need more sleep than most people, and especially lately as I have "issues" to work out.
It doesn't help that the flashbacks and anxiety are worse at night or when I'm asleep, and when I haven''t slept properly. I have to struggle not to fall asleep during the day, eg in an exhibition or on the train, and when I'm at home I keep losing things, which is really not like me. I tried staying in a youth hostel as well and had one good night's sleep and one where I hardly slept. I was meant to talk to a psychologist but I found out she's over an hour away and I cancelled cos I was worried about falling asleep on the train or during the session. I once had anti-anxiety medication before and I think it made me sick. I would like to avoid pills if I can. I don't have good access to my family and I don't have any friends who could come and stay with me or help me work out what to do.
I'm not sure what to do for the best - I'm meant to be looking for a job and I don't have heaps of cash, but I need somewhere safe and secure I can stay, where I can get a proper night's sleep. I'm tired and anxious and I fear that will mean I am a poor judge of character or that I make a bad decision. I don't feel safe alone but I find it hard to know who I can trust because this is a foreign city, though one where I speak the langauge well enough.
I want to enjoy my time abroad, especially cos I cant go back to my job right away even if I go back to my home country, but the anxiety and lack of sleep are making things really bad and I can't make the most of my days or nights. What should I do? Am I crazy to try and tough this out? Should I look for another apartment, e.g. with flatmates? How do I know whom I can trust when I"m so tired I feel like a zombie all the time, and when I have energy it is anxiety?