Your stereotypical gay gym crush.
September 16, 2012 11:31 AM Subscribe
Can I approach my crush? How? What to say if I do? (slightly long)
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (11 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I am a gay male. Over the summer I signed up at a local fitness center for a 1-month trial offer.
On the Tuesday of the second week of this offer, I was chatting with a friend in the weights room... and somebody in the corner caught my eye. I didn't think much of him then -- but Thursday he passed by me, while I was waiting in the hallway for yoga class to start. I couldn't help but stare at him, and I suppose he noticed me looking at him in the mirrors of the weight room (the weight room opens onto the hallway) because he turned to look back. Me being both shy and insecure, I couldn't help but look down.
The next time I saw him was the Sunday of the third week. This time I was heading to the pool; to get there you have walk down the hallway and hence pass by the weights area. He was exercising in the corner next to the door to the pool, so of course I couldn't help but look at him. He looked at me for maybe a second or two, and then continued on with his workout.
During the last week of my 1-month membership I resolved to try to speak to him by all means possible. My last day there was a Tuesday; by then I had gathered that that's a day he usually works out, so I figured that I would see him. There was a class I liked to attend from 430-530 pm and he usually gets there around 5, so the timing fit really well. From the classroom doorway one can view the corner of the weights room where he usually sets up, so I had a perfect chance to check him out.
Lo and behold, during the class I saw him come in, roll out his exercise mat in the corner and do some stretches and pushups. I kept my eye on him through the doorway and watched him maneuver from one weight apparatus to the next. And I could swear that he was checking me out too: whenever I glanced over, he was standing right there, right by the door. There were times when I thought he was looking at me, until I turned to check on him and saw that he was engrossed in his bicep curl.
Done with the class, I went back to the locker room to change. Since the exit is near the weights room, I figured when I leave I could pass through casually enough and try to strike up a conversation.
I can get very nervous approaching someone I find attractive, so I hung out in the hallway for a little bit, pretending to read the bulletin board as I tried to muster my strength and calm my nerves. After what seemed like quite a few minutes, my hands shaking and heart thumping, I told myself "oh f*ck it, just try to say hi," so impulsively I turned around and started to walk through the machines.
He actually was standing near me, by the hallway and near the entrance to the weights room. As I walked by of course I had to look -- I'm sure he noticed me looking at him in the mirror and he turned to look at me too. We made eye contact for a split second. But his wasn't a neutral glance: he looked PISSED, as though I had interrupted his workout. I was a bit fazed but still waved at him, trying to establish contact as planned. As much as I wanted to speak to him, his facial expression suggested I do not. He had earphones on too, though whether he was actually listening to music or not I'm not sure.
So here are my questions:
1) I think it's clear that he's gay. But is he interested? It's likely, but I can't be certain. He most likely wouldn't bother to make eye contact with me if he wasn't, and I really felt that he was sending me signals, checking me out and putting on a show for me on that last Tuesday. But then, why would he return my gaze with such a nasty look?
2a) If I go back to this fitness center, should I speak to him? For one thing, this is a "family" fitness center, so as much as I need to make it clear that I'm interested in him, I can't make it TOO clear for worry of offending people who might be there. How do I ask him out without outing the both of us?
2b) HOW to speak to him? The problem here lies with lack of topic and his "defenses" if you will. Lack of topic because what is there to ask about? Sure, I could start with a question like "So how long have you been a member here?"... but isn't that a stupid, lame question? And by his defenses I mean his earphones. How can I speak to him when he has those on? Would it be ok to just tap him on the shoulder, when it's rather clear that I'm seriously attracted to him and the physical contact might make us both feel awkward?
(Upon preview this question smacks of inexperience. Thanks for being my gay mentor!)