Anonymous Massage Question
November 4, 2010 9:50 AM Subscribe
Ethical dilemma. Should I book a massage with someone I had a huge crush on in high school, just for the thrill of it?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (67 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
In high school I had a HUGE closet-homo crush on a guy named Mark. He was the super athletic jock and I was the invisible sad nerd, and he was barely aware of my existence. He was incredibly beautiful and I fantasized about him for years, though he was not a particularly nice person from what I could tell.
Well, we graduated thirteen years ago. I have very rarely ever thought about him since, and I am fully comfortable with my sexuality now. But... today via Facebook's sidebar recommendations I discovered that he now runs a successful sports massage clinic in my hometown. I live 2000 miles away, I look nothing like I did then, and my name is different. I'm seriously considering booking a massage with him during my upcoming trip home.
I'm not interested in doing anything pervy of a physical nature -- I am certain I could act just like a regular client, and I typically don't have any problem refraining from getting erections during a massage, even in cases where I find the masseur attractive. If anything I'd be too nervous! I'm just fascinated with the idea of being touched by someone I used to feel so intensely about, without his knowing who I really am. It would be the kind of memory I would (perhaps) greatly treasure in retrospect. He would probably never be the wiser. If he ever did find out, I'd be long gone.
I know that this might sound really creepy, but I want to stress that I would in no way take the massage session any further than the usual clinical visit. But I don't know if this seems like I am taking advantage of him somehow. I suppose I am objectifying him, but is this really so different than people visiting a masseur that they are personally very attracted to, even though they never ever act on it? Am I way outside what is appropriate here?
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