Is it so important our child grow up near her grandparents that we give up the good life we have now?
We live eight hours (by air or by car) away from family. We have an 8 month old baby who has a better than average chance of being an only child. We live in a great city with great jobs and we've been here ten years.
We don't want to move. But we feel that for the good of the kid, we ought to consider relocating to be closer to family.
If we moved, this is what would change:
1) We would go from two excellent (unionized, tenured, well-paid, great benefits, dream job for one of us, favorable scheduling) jobs to one nonunionized, nontenured but otherwise good job, cutting our family income by about half (cost of living adjusted). It would be difficult for us to find two awesome jobs in a new location, potentially leaving at least one of us unemployed for a few years. Neither of us is inclined to be a stay-at-home parent. Our current jobs are arranged in such a way that kid won't be in day care until she's 1 and won't be in day care more than three days a week until she starts kindergarten.
2) We would go from all the things that come with living in a big city where we're happy to living in a very much smaller town or possibly in the country. That's not to say that small town doesn't have its pros but there are reasons I left when I turned 17.
3) Kid would get to grow up near grandma, step-grandpa and other large extended family with all the benefits implied who might or might not still be there in 20 or 30 years. Kid has indicated she would prefer to live in a small tribe with four or five siblings and is more outgoing than either of us. My family is awesome, we love them dearly, but we don't know what day-to-day life might look like because we've never lived close to them as adults.
How do we decide whether point three outweighs points one and two? We read the grandparents thread
but that situation was a little different in that they'd already decided to go.