NYC with kids?

March 7, 2009 1:05 PM

Help me imagine what our life would be like in New York.

We are a married couple with two kids, 3 and 6 months. Currently we live in the suburbs of Boston. I've been on the mommy track, working part-time and freelancing, for the past few years, but I'm itching to get my career back on the rails. There is a job that would be a great step for me in New York. Mr. Libraryhead is open to the idea, though not fully sold. (He would probably ask to work remote from his current job, or try his hand as a free agent; I doubt he would have a problem getting a comparable job if he needed to.)

I lived in New York during much of my 20s, but my life is so different now. Is it really possible to live in the city with kids?

I like
* being able to walk most places
* great food shopping
* great restaurants
* the parks
* the museums
* not having to drive

I worry about
* crowdedness
* noise and smells
* the utter hassle of taking the subway with children in tow
* the whole urbanbaby/bugaboo/status competition thing
* small apartments
* lack of access to outdoor living space (i.e. patio/garden)
* lack of access to wilderness (hiking)

unknowns:
* daycare
* schools

Are there neighborhoods with <45 minute access to midtown that would ameliorate some of the worries? (Park Slope? Upper West Side?) Our budget would be around $2500-$3000 for a 2-3 bedroom. And what are the public schools like, really? I don't see us affording private any time soon.

More, I'm just trying to imagine what it's like to live in Manhattan or Brooklyn with kids. Anecdotes welcome, good and bad.

posted by libraryhead to travel & transportation (20 comments total)

I used to live (last year) in Prospect Heights in Brooklyn and there were quite a few kids around. They all seemed to have the benefits of the nearby Park Slope family-friendliness without the obnoxious stroller-envy type thing that you talk about. Also, the neighborhood is cheaper than the Slope and still just above Prospect Park.

My point is that I think raising kids in the city can be a good thing, but the exact neighborhoods that you mention are the ones that I'd avoid. There are less expensive / snobby places to live that offer the same cultural / recreational / educational opportunities.
posted by youcancallmeal at 1:29 PM on March 7

I do not have kids, but I'd encourage you to consider Astoria (Queens)--it's got a similar feel to parts of Brooklyn and the UWS but is more affordable than Park Slope and has a quicker commute to midtown (around 20 minutes). Your price range is certainly doable here, and could include a balcony/patio or even an actual backyard.

Astorians.com is a well-used forum and I know several people on there have kids.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 1:30 PM on March 7

I don't think your housing budget is reasonable (yet? maybe hopefully) for parts of manhattan that are zoned for good public schools.
posted by JPD at 1:33 PM on March 7

JPD -- I just spent a hour on Craigslist, and there seem to be plenty of 2BRs under $3000 -- 3BR is pushing it, but they're both girls and could share a bedroom. What neighborhoods are "zoned for good public schools"?

peanut_mcgillicuty -- I lived in Long Island City a decade ago, and despite the hype, Astoria's not really to my taste. Just too crowded/dirty/not pretty, the N train sucks, and there's no green anywhere.
posted by libraryhead at 1:57 PM on March 7

Have you thought about the suburbs at all? New Rochelle is pretty walkable, especially if you live downtown. The city's putting a lot of effort into revitalizing the downtown area, as well.

The schools are pretty good, and Midtown is only thirty-two minutes away by Metro-North. Plus you'd probably be able to get some yard and patio space for signficantly less of your housing budget.
posted by thecaddy at 2:02 PM on March 7

I hate to be a buzzkill, but it's going to be tough to find a decent 2-3 bedroom for $3000 with room for a growing family in the UWS or Park Slope. I babysit for a Park Slope family with one baby and they pay $2800 for the teeniest one bedroom I've ever seen.

I'd recommend looking at Windsor Terrace, which is in contiguous to Park Slope but much more affordable and quieter. I don't know what the schools are like, but the apartments are very pretty, the neighborhood is right off the F train, and you're right by lovely Prospect Park. Noise and smells are just part of New York, and yeah, this place smells worse than a Calcutta alley in the summertime, but it's part of living in a condensed city that offers you, the resident, a panoply of restaurants and culture and diversity. And for what it's worth, Windsor Terrace has never smelled like anything but the weather when I visited.
posted by zoomorphic at 2:33 PM on March 7

I'd say streeteasy.com is the best place to look to get a sense of what different nabe's cost to rent in and what schools are zoned for which areas. I'm not a parent but if I were I'm sure I could name the "good" schools off the top of my head. I believe the general thinking is Tribeca, the W Village and Central Village, Certain parts of the UES and the lower half of the UWS all have good schools - but I'm sure there are better sources than I for that data.

As far as your craigslist search I'll bet a lot of them are converted one-bedrooms where someone turned the living room into a bedroom. Or a lot of times they are just scams. If they don't have an address listed - assume its a broker fishing. Or they could be in nabes w. bad schools.
posted by JPD at 2:45 PM on March 7

I would look in White Plains. Plenty in walking distance, easy commute, could get good housing for your $ and schools are okay.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 3:20 PM on March 7

You might want to check out Hoboken. It's just across the river from NYC (can take the ferry or the PATH), and it's very family friendly. I have a friend who's got kids in the elementary school and she's been quite happy with them. There are also quite a few Charter Schools as another option.

I lived there for 11 years and really miss it. :(
posted by dancinglamb at 3:28 PM on March 7

Are there neighborhoods with ...

So, basically, you just want someone to tell you that you should live in Park Slope. There are plenty of Park Slope mom's, they have their scene, and they seem to make it work. That same attitude has infilitrated Astoria so, even though you dismiss it as crowded and not green enough (did you never discover Astoria Park or the area above 30th Ave? Brooklyn and Manhattan are less green in comparison). Astoria also has a huge influx of 30-something moms, lots of play groups, mommy groups, and a rather huge support system. They're able to make it work and 3 bedrooms for less than 3k are very possible here. Astoria is different from what it was a decade ago - it's basically a younger Park Slope. But, yeah, it isn't exactly the Park Slope you seem to have latched yourself onto so if you really want a Park Slope lifestyle, Park Slope is probably the place to be.
posted by Stynxno at 4:34 PM on March 7

I really think you should consider Inwood, the northern-most neighborhood on Manhattan. 30 minutes on the A-train to Columbus Circle, yet it's right by three parks that are more "wilderness-like" and less crowded than parks in others parts of the city. Apartment prices are in your range, and the neighborhood is becoming increasingly popular with parents like yourself. I've lived here for several years -- drop me a mefimail if you have questions. I don't know anything about public schools, but I do know about the hood in general.
posted by edlundart at 4:39 PM on March 7

This seems to have become a referendum on different neighborhoods, which is helpful (no, I haven't *latched on* to anything, much less Park Slope), but I'd love it if some parents could chime in. What are the good and bad about living with young children in the city? What should we look for/watch out for that we might not have thought of?
posted by libraryhead at 5:12 PM on March 7

I left NYC before I had a kid, but I've been back frequently with my son (now almost four), and getting around on the subway is fine (at least with just one) -- before he could walk I used a lightweight umbrella-style stroller that I could easily carry up the subway stairs with him, rather than the big ol' stroller I used in my new city. You learn to streamline in terms of how much stuff you actually need to haul around.

I can't speak much for specific NYC neighborhoods these days, but this page lists apartment complexes with available 3-bedroom apartments, if you want to get an idea of what's available where in your price range.
posted by lisa g at 6:07 PM on March 7

One thing I really miss from living in NYC is neighborhood playgrounds. We have playgrounds where I live now (a suburb of Seattle), but they're not used much -- we're usually the only people there, if we go to one of the smaller ones.

When I lived in Queens we went to the same playground down the street from our apartment most days, and it was a great way to meet other little kids and befriend other moms in the neighborhood.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:20 PM on March 7

Of course it is "really possible to live in the city with kids". People have been doing it for centuries. I'm a native myself.

"the whole urbanbaby/bugaboo/status competition thing"

What?

Anyway, consider Forest Hills(Queens), Kensington (Brooklyn), or Inwood if you aren't tied to Park Slope.
posted by cmgonzalez at 6:23 PM on March 7

A blog by a friend who lives in Queens and writes about parenting: It's a Jan's Life. Her other blog: Autism & Public School: My Experience.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:35 PM on March 7

What should we look for/watch out for that we might not have thought of?

The libraries. I hated our local library when we lived in Jackson Heights. Most of the picture books were missing pages. I don't know how the other library systems are for kids, but the Queens one really was terrible. (I could go on about this for a very long time, but I'll spare you.)

* the whole urbanbaby/bugaboo/status competition thing

Easily ignored, just like anywhere else.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:40 PM on March 7

Not going to recommend a neighborhood, but wanted to point out that rents are falling all over the city. Right now a 3-bedroom can be rented in Park Slope for well within your price range. Just moved into one, for which the landlord dropped the monthly payment when asked.
posted by oddovid at 7:02 AM on March 8

peanut_mcgillicuty -- I lived in Long Island City a decade ago, and despite the hype, Astoria's not really to my taste. Just too crowded/dirty/not pretty, the N train sucks, and there's no green anywhere.

I'm sorry you've written it off. Where I sit now (in a 2BR, 2bath under $2000 kid-friendly apartment with a balcony) there are two parks within three blocks, both with lots of grass, trees, and fantastic views. There's another big park within easy jogging/walking/stroller-pushing distance. If you lived in between the two train lines, you have less access to green parks, yes, but there's been a push for "parks" which in my mind are more playgrounds. The N train has had some work done on it in recent years and I have nothing to complain about it, as opposed to the UWS where I lived for several years and consistently had train problems. My previous apartment in Astoria had a backyard and more trees than I've ever seen in Astoria.

Long Island City (the lower stops on the N trains) is VERY different from Astoria proper, and since everything you've listed is doable at the last stops on the N line, I wouldn't write it off without taking a look.

Also, for what it's worth, I was in Park Slope last night and people were complaining about the dirt, the crowds, the hipsters AND the trains, so I think you're going to find that wherever you wind up in New York.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 8:59 AM on March 8

I'd advise looking at Washington Heights as well. I live in the Heights now - in a 4 bedroom 2 bathroom apt that goes for $3000 a month. I'm also within walking distance of Fort Tryon Park a huge park with its own branch of the Met (i.e. the Cloisters) in it. There are tons of families, restaurants, etc... in the area and if you need to hop down to midtown its a 20 minute trip on the A express.

Only thing I don't know about is public schools in the area. Maybe some other people could point you in the right direction on that.
posted by jourman2 at 3:29 PM on March 8