I just want to get back to normal. This is hard.
July 16, 2012 11:33 AM Subscribe
My depression is getting out of hand. I’ve started therapy, and will probably soon be on meds. But I’m having trouble coping, during the in-between times. Help?
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (10 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
Before you read on, know that I’m getting help. I started with a fantastic new therapist on Friday, and have called a psychiatrist for an appointment to discuss meds, and am waiting for a call back from him.
Apologies if this is disjointed.
I’ve been depressed, come to realize, for about three months now. It started out as a chemical depression, one that would have been relatively easy to thwart, but was compounded by a few big personal situations that just pounded the nail in.
My work is intensely creative and social, and I just… can’t do it. I’m getting worse, too. I took Friday off because of this shit. Until that day, I hadn’t showered in almost a week. There were food boxes all over my kitchen. I haven’t been interested in anything I normally enjoy. (I got a burst of inspiration/energy on Friday before my shrink appointment, and fixed all this.)
Work needs me to step up, but I just can’t. I don’t have any thoughts in my head. No ideas. Nothing to contribute.
It’s making me anxious and even more upset.
I want to hide. But I can’t. I’m on the verge of tears. People are noticing. I can’t leave work because, again, I took Friday off.
To add insult to injury, this morning I woke up out of a dream in which I had killed myself. Once fully awake, I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
I am not suicidal! Not even a little bit. But nonetheless it terrified me, and now I’m sitting at my desk wondering what to do, if anything. Call my new shrink?
I have a deadline in a few hours, and I’ve got nothin’. I’m more focused on the “what the fuck was that” dream, and the intrusive negative thoughts that depression brings, than I am on work.
Is there anything I can do right now? Any coping mechanisms that I may not have thought of? Should I call my shrink? My next appointment is on Friday, and that feels like an eternity from now.
It's a bit excruciating asking this question, even anonymously. Ugh.