Getting hit on, red flags, and Europe
June 7, 2012 1:21 PM Subscribe
How can I tell when someone is hitting on me, and what red flags can I look for? In general and also specifically for Europe.
posted by hotchocolate to Human Relations (13 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I'm in an Eastern European country for the summer, and... it's really awkward. I'm Asian and have lived in the US for most of my life. Here, I've found that men STARE. And hold your gaze. This seems to be especially bad when I'm walking alone. (My American roommates have corroborated this when they are out alone too.) I suppose it's a combination of my looks and being female, but this makes me uncomfortable. I've been determinedly avoiding their gaze and looking anywhere else. Is my wariness justified? Also, when a man here strikes up a conversation with me and asks me out for drinks, should I generally assume that it isn't because I could be a potentially awesome friend but because I'm a girl (who will be a quick summer fling)? Is "drinks" code for "I'm interested"?
Other potentially relevant info: I'm college-aged, and this is my first time experiencing this sort of thing in the real world. I am not particularly pretty. When men ask me out, if it isn't explicitly a date, I assume that it'll be an interesting conversation and say yes. I've had one unpleasant surprise with that already this summer, although it wasn't in the country that I'm in now. I'm seeing now that this is naive at best and dangerous at worst.
How do I know when someone is, well, interested and not just as friends? Are there scary first-impression red flags that should tip me off that I should say no? (I'm thinking of men who don't react well to my bringing along other people, for example.) Also, any tips to deal with the staring would be appreciated! General and Europe-specific advice would be so helpful.
I searched previous askme's and didn't see anything exactly the same, but please let me know of relevant threads! Thank you.