How do you spot Dating Warning Phrases?
January 30, 2013 3:44 PM Subscribe
Can you help me to better distinguish cheery lovebird songs vs. the squawks of ailing canaries in my dating coal mine?
posted by argonauta to human relations (89 answers total) 136 users marked this as a favorite
I was just poking through some old emails and was kind of bowled over when I spotted how often and reliably "You're too good to me" was uttered by someone I was dating... not long before we were, uh, no longer dating anymore.
For umpty-freakin' years, I instinctively interpreted that phrase as a positive thing: a compliment, a gold star, a sign of warmth, a request for me to keep doing those things, an urge to return the generosity.... not (as I now think is more likely) a warning signal that the person was maybe feeling guilty, or smothered, or unworthy, or unhappily pressured to reciprocate, etc..
There must be other phrases like this, right? And if I figure out how to listen to them on the right frequency, I'll at least be able to react more nimbly? "Things are kind of crazy with work right now" probably qualifies as one. I'd love to be able to arm myself if you know any other examples of phrases that at least make you sit up and pay better attention. Thanks, y'all.