How should I approach my girlfriend - and myself - with my evolving sexuality?
January 16, 2012 6:22 AM Subscribe
Help me figure out what's going on with my sexuality and what it means for my long-time relationship.
Three years ago I finally confessed my feelings for my girlfriend, a childhood sweetheart I've known since fourth grade. She had been harbouring the same feelings for some time, too.
At the start of last year I came out as bisexual. I had known of my attraction to men long before my girlfriend and I made it official, and I'm sure I was in love with her even when I knew of my homosexual inclinations.
But these inclinations have been bubbling up... I'm more attracted to men than I ever was, and I am as less attracted to women as I ever have been, too. I'm beginning to think I might, in fact, be gay. This is tremendously confusing, because I am certain that I was once passionately in love with my girlfriend... old IM logs are proof of this: I can barely read them without giggling at how lame I sounded. But now that I'm feeling more attracted to men, I'm wondering if back then, as a teenager, I was suppressing myself. I'm wondering if I am gay or bisexual... if I am gay, how could I have had the feelings for her I did? If I am bisexual, why have I suddenly lost all sexual inclination towards women?
Unless I regain my sexual attraction to women, I'm sure my relationship with my girlfriend has any future. But I'm faced with the terrible task of telling her... she's smart, funny, and beautiful, and I don't want her to feel otherwise. Additionally, she doesn't suspect a thing. And most importantly, I still want to remain friends. Am I asking too much?
Your help is greatly appreciated.
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