What ingredients make for great sex for you, women? Honest questioner seeks honest answers
August 27, 2011 10:42 AM Subscribe
Women, what makes a sexual experience rank high for YOU? I'm not just asking about technique, but the whole ball of wax. What makes it the best for you?
posted by sleeping beauty to Human Relations (48 answers total) 48 users marked this as a favorite
I want women's perspectives.....on what makes a sexual experience rank high in your book. Men, if you answer, please share what your woman/partner really thinks/says/responds to, not what you think they think. (!) There are lots of me-fi post about good sex, but they don't address what I'm looking for.
In the last year or so at the ripe young age of 45-46, my sex life has dramatically changed. I think it's a combo of hormonal changes (increased libido and confidence/energy), major physical/self-care changes, and at the root, philosophical/psychological/personal/spiritual changes.
Freeing or detaching myself from negative, critical, 'superior,' contemptuous people in the key relationships in my life (manfriend, boss, roommate, best friends) also fits into the equation.
The resulting increase in my self-worth and my interest in sex, along with a deep-settled confidence in my own sexuality (even with my various 'limitations') -- is remarkably freeing. Honestly, it's surprised me. I used to wonder if I was just asexual or something.
For years, I thought I was experiencing great sex, and in some instances, I was. However, my recent internet research and present 'liberated' experiences have been more than enlightening. There is SO much more to be had than I ever imagined!
Being in condemning relationships trains you to be happy with whatever little crumbs you get. You expect so little. Withholding, controlling partners mess up your reality.
So now, I'd like to know what is possible! What can be experienced? What feelings are possible? What makes wonderful, beautiful, amazing, pleasurable, "rock your world," even ecstatic sex? And, (where) does "love" fit in the recipe?
I would so appreciate your answers in REAL PEOPLE experience...in the context of real life. honest, please (not tv or internet fantasies or memories from short-lived relationships with people you didn't really know in real time. been there, done that).
Please keep in mind, I am 46, not 22, and those imaginary, "perfect" romances I once had don't happen now that years of reality have set in. People and romances can still be amazing to me, but the imperfect and "daily" unfolds much sooner now, (as some of you know! ; )
I'm in search of realistic and attainable.
Thanks, y'all, for your kindness and generosity in sharing honestly.
Sleeping (well, waking now) Beauty