Women's retreats for a middle-age woman nearing divorce
November 7, 2007 6:11 PM Subscribe
Help me recommend a women's retreat for my likely-nearing-divorce mother.
My mother and stepfather have been in what is best described as a loveless and contentious marriage for 25 years. My mother has left him in the past for periods never lasting longer than a week or so. He's not a bad person but he and my mother are wholly incompatible.
Recently, after the official 25-year mark, my mother began expressing a desire to leave him for good this time. This is complicated by all the things that complicate a 25-year relationship: shared home(s), shared business interests, etc.
During a recent conversation, my mother hinted that she would like to try a monthlong women-only retreat that might a) give her an extended break from her day-to-day responsibilities b)give her some time away from my dad and c)help her work up the courage to leave him once and for all, despite the fact that the divorce will likely be very, very messy.
Does anyone have any suggestions for a retreat that might accomplish these goals? Cost is not much of an issue but it would need to be a nurturing environment but nothing outdoorsy like Outward Bound. My mother does not do the outdoors ... and nothing religious. She grew up with a zealot of a mother and frowns on organized religion (though she does believe in a higher power).
Also, if there are other suggestions as to how I might support/encourage her during this time, I'd appreciate all of them. Thanks.
My mother and stepfather have been in what is best described as a loveless and contentious marriage for 25 years. My mother has left him in the past for periods never lasting longer than a week or so. He's not a bad person but he and my mother are wholly incompatible.
Recently, after the official 25-year mark, my mother began expressing a desire to leave him for good this time. This is complicated by all the things that complicate a 25-year relationship: shared home(s), shared business interests, etc.
During a recent conversation, my mother hinted that she would like to try a monthlong women-only retreat that might a) give her an extended break from her day-to-day responsibilities b)give her some time away from my dad and c)help her work up the courage to leave him once and for all, despite the fact that the divorce will likely be very, very messy.
Does anyone have any suggestions for a retreat that might accomplish these goals? Cost is not much of an issue but it would need to be a nurturing environment but nothing outdoorsy like Outward Bound. My mother does not do the outdoors ... and nothing religious. She grew up with a zealot of a mother and frowns on organized religion (though she does believe in a higher power).
Also, if there are other suggestions as to how I might support/encourage her during this time, I'd appreciate all of them. Thanks.
Not exactly a retreat, but maybe a spa weekend in some beautiful setting would be something your mom would enjoy? Or else perhaps a non-denominational meditation retreat (that is, one that just stresses the meditation, tranquility and mindfulness aspects rather than any particular religious outlook).
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 7:29 PM on November 7, 2007
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 7:29 PM on November 7, 2007
These aren't a retreats, but they are relatively inexpensive women-only lodgings in NYC:
http://www.thebrandon.org/
http://www.websterapartments.org/index.htm
Nurturing? Well, it's NYC, sounds like a good part of town. But staying somewhere else, by herself -- or with a friend, or friends visiting -- could be interesting. Depending on what she's into.
Anyway, I saw that there weren't a lot of replies here, and I found these recently through another Ask Metafilter question, so there you go.
posted by amtho at 4:49 AM on November 8, 2007
http://www.thebrandon.org/
http://www.websterapartments.org/index.htm
Nurturing? Well, it's NYC, sounds like a good part of town. But staying somewhere else, by herself -- or with a friend, or friends visiting -- could be interesting. Depending on what she's into.
Anyway, I saw that there weren't a lot of replies here, and I found these recently through another Ask Metafilter question, so there you go.
posted by amtho at 4:49 AM on November 8, 2007
You could try a destination spa like Canyon Ranch or Miraval. Both are about as close to worry free, 100% positive environments you can get.
(But money better REALLY not be an issue for a month in either of those places.)
posted by dzot at 6:54 AM on November 8, 2007
(But money better REALLY not be an issue for a month in either of those places.)
posted by dzot at 6:54 AM on November 8, 2007
There are various spiritual/self-growth organizations that offer workshops at different levels of commitment. For example check out The Omega Institute or Kripalu. Their programs are definitely nurturing.
posted by blueyellow at 7:50 AM on November 9, 2007
posted by blueyellow at 7:50 AM on November 9, 2007
Does your mom have hobbies? I'm thinking of writing workshops, craft retreats, etc.
posted by salvia at 10:51 AM on November 9, 2007
posted by salvia at 10:51 AM on November 9, 2007
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All the retreats I've seen have been weekend things, nothing monthlong. But they're not outdoorsy and they're presumably not religious. And I have to say, the Wednesday-night knitting club I used to attend helped me through some rough times.
In the "other suggestions" category: When my mother went through a lonely sort of time (dealing with chronic illness and empty nest syndrome), I paid the fee for her to take a beginning yoga class in her town, and she still takes yoga and loves it. I think it's helped her a great deal. She has yoga friends now, too.
posted by adiabat at 6:22 PM on November 7, 2007