How can I better deal with stress?
March 2, 2011 2:46 PM Subscribe
How can I better deal with stress and manage my workload? I work part time, and go to school full time and I am having a hard time coping.
Hi guys.
I'm a college student in my junior year. Classes are starting to pick up in my major, and I am still busy with liberal arts classes and such. Being a computer science major, there is a lot of room for partial credit and such and the curriculum is a lot more forgiving than Physics or Mathematics, but I spend a lot of time writing computer programs, and sometimes this is very difficult to do (as are writing research papers for English or History). I also work anywhere from 16 to 30 hours a week while being a full time student.
I'm finding myself in a position now that I didn't have when I was in high school - or previous years in college. There is a lot more at stake it feels like a lot of the time, and I am starting to feel myself become more and more constantly stressed out about school. Sure, sometimes you have to get some stuff done and things can seem tough, but I am starting to leave my apartment less and less, I've started lashing out a little bit sort of snapping at people, I break out, I don't see friends anymore. I am just not doing well, and I can feel myself getting worse. My relationship with my girlfriend i think is also suffering which further adds to the problem. I surround myself with more stress and it becomes more difficult to get work done.
I wanted to ask if Metafilter has any techniques I could adopt that would help me deal with the rest of my college career. Currently, I am working to change my diet, and get more exercise. I'm trying to make an effort to get out more and see people, but it has been difficult. I am also considering quitting my job, which I think would probably be a good start on taking care of this problem I have.
Any tips or general advice will be taken into consideration.
Hi guys.
I'm a college student in my junior year. Classes are starting to pick up in my major, and I am still busy with liberal arts classes and such. Being a computer science major, there is a lot of room for partial credit and such and the curriculum is a lot more forgiving than Physics or Mathematics, but I spend a lot of time writing computer programs, and sometimes this is very difficult to do (as are writing research papers for English or History). I also work anywhere from 16 to 30 hours a week while being a full time student.
I'm finding myself in a position now that I didn't have when I was in high school - or previous years in college. There is a lot more at stake it feels like a lot of the time, and I am starting to feel myself become more and more constantly stressed out about school. Sure, sometimes you have to get some stuff done and things can seem tough, but I am starting to leave my apartment less and less, I've started lashing out a little bit sort of snapping at people, I break out, I don't see friends anymore. I am just not doing well, and I can feel myself getting worse. My relationship with my girlfriend i think is also suffering which further adds to the problem. I surround myself with more stress and it becomes more difficult to get work done.
I wanted to ask if Metafilter has any techniques I could adopt that would help me deal with the rest of my college career. Currently, I am working to change my diet, and get more exercise. I'm trying to make an effort to get out more and see people, but it has been difficult. I am also considering quitting my job, which I think would probably be a good start on taking care of this problem I have.
Any tips or general advice will be taken into consideration.
It seems super-geeky, but Gantt charts are your friend. They aren't simply a list of tasks, but a way to schedule everything in terms of time required, and how projects relate to one another. For example, in order to write that English paper, you need to read the book first. The book will take 20 hours to read, 5 hours to write the paper, and it's due in 2 weeks. Write that all out on the chart. Make sure you are listing realistic timeframes, even padding things to give yourself some breathing room. Also mark the solid deadlines versus projects that can be extended, and mark priority projects versus projects that can survive with half credit. Include how much projects count towards grades, if that's a concern of yours.
Also include time for breaks and time for friends.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:08 PM on March 2, 2011 [4 favorites]
Also include time for breaks and time for friends.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:08 PM on March 2, 2011 [4 favorites]
Also: why are you working? Is it to earn money to pay for some or all of your classes? How much debt will you have without working? When I was in college, I was told you'd do better over-all if you spent more time in school and accepted the burden of some debt, instead of drawing out your classes over more years and working off some of your debt.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:10 PM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by filthy light thief at 3:10 PM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
In addition to exercise and diet, be sure to get enough sleep. It's also important to force yourself to take time for yourself occasionally.
As you've recognized, quitting your job seems likely to have an impact. Another option might be limiting your hours, so if it's possible to say "I can work 10 a week, but no more than that," that might be worth trying first.
posted by J. Wilson at 3:29 PM on March 2, 2011
As you've recognized, quitting your job seems likely to have an impact. Another option might be limiting your hours, so if it's possible to say "I can work 10 a week, but no more than that," that might be worth trying first.
posted by J. Wilson at 3:29 PM on March 2, 2011
filthy light thief and I both recommended including time for breaks, etc. If you're having trouble doing that, I'm thinking of something specific. Like, I will take a walk every Sunday morning. I will play tennis with a friend every Sunday afternoon. I will get together with friends every other Thursday night. Or something along those lines.
posted by J. Wilson at 3:38 PM on March 2, 2011
posted by J. Wilson at 3:38 PM on March 2, 2011
Does your school have a student services center? Usually colleges and universities have a counselor on staff. This isn't a "get thee to the therapist" comment so much as a "see what resources are available to help you through this stressful time" comment. The counselor might have good suggestions about cutting back at work or quitting, as well as how to manage your time.
I think it's great that you're noticing this relatively early on and seeking out ways to make it better. Being proactive about it makes all the difference in the end. I wish you well!
posted by SugarAndSass at 3:56 PM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
I think it's great that you're noticing this relatively early on and seeking out ways to make it better. Being proactive about it makes all the difference in the end. I wish you well!
posted by SugarAndSass at 3:56 PM on March 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
I've noticed that when I make sure to take some time for myself my marks go way up, even if I'm putting in less hours. I also generally feel better about myself. That being said I will be watching this thread as I've had similar problems in the past.
posted by Canageek at 4:01 PM on March 2, 2011
posted by Canageek at 4:01 PM on March 2, 2011
I used to work in a job that put me and my colleagues in situations that were pressure cookers. One technique we had to deal with stress was to have a agreed-upon symbol or action for "I'm overwhelmed", that let us all know when it was time to either back off or step up and help take the load off the person. For us it was the "fan yourself" motion.
Times of super-high stress is when it's the most crucial to laugh, the harder the better. I have the "do cats fart" thread in AskMe favourited for just such times.
As other have said above, sleep, eating right (even when what you crave is junk food) and exercise also help immensely.
Writing a to-do list helps me, if only because it helps me break down the actions I need to do and tick them off as I do them.
Good luck!
posted by LN at 4:26 PM on March 2, 2011
Times of super-high stress is when it's the most crucial to laugh, the harder the better. I have the "do cats fart" thread in AskMe favourited for just such times.
As other have said above, sleep, eating right (even when what you crave is junk food) and exercise also help immensely.
Writing a to-do list helps me, if only because it helps me break down the actions I need to do and tick them off as I do them.
Good luck!
posted by LN at 4:26 PM on March 2, 2011
Strategies:
1. Reduce load.
2. Plan your schedule and shift deadlines around if possible.
3. When an event push you off your regular schedule (study for final, or large project deadline), do everything necessary to get back to your normal schedule. This can be 12hr long sleep (these do wonders!), a long run (exercise is good destroying those stress chemical in your body), socialize with friends, project mate, girlfriend (to build up support system), meditation.
posted by curiousZ at 6:32 PM on March 2, 2011
1. Reduce load.
2. Plan your schedule and shift deadlines around if possible.
3. When an event push you off your regular schedule (study for final, or large project deadline), do everything necessary to get back to your normal schedule. This can be 12hr long sleep (these do wonders!), a long run (exercise is good destroying those stress chemical in your body), socialize with friends, project mate, girlfriend (to build up support system), meditation.
posted by curiousZ at 6:32 PM on March 2, 2011
Also: why are you working? Is it to earn money to pay for some or all of your classes? How much debt will you have without working? When I was in college, I was told you'd do better over-all if you spent more time in school and accepted the burden of some debt
I think this is frankly horrible advice. College tuition has risen considerably in the past ten or fifteen years, and the amount of debt you'll be liable for--even at a public university--is probably large enough to severely limit your choices after you graduate, especially if you assume that the economy will still be poor when you hit the job market.
Well-meaning adults (whose college-and-early-adulthood experiences, I suspect, involved both lower tuition and a much easier time finding work) gave me this advice when I was in college, and I took it uncritically; now I carry more than $40,000 of debt at close to 7% interest, and the straight-A transcript it bought me doesn't do much to help me pay it back.
Obviously, if your tuition is covered (by scholarships or your parents) and you're working for pocket money, you should reconsider your priorities and consider working less.
posted by pullayup at 6:46 PM on March 2, 2011
I think this is frankly horrible advice. College tuition has risen considerably in the past ten or fifteen years, and the amount of debt you'll be liable for--even at a public university--is probably large enough to severely limit your choices after you graduate, especially if you assume that the economy will still be poor when you hit the job market.
Well-meaning adults (whose college-and-early-adulthood experiences, I suspect, involved both lower tuition and a much easier time finding work) gave me this advice when I was in college, and I took it uncritically; now I carry more than $40,000 of debt at close to 7% interest, and the straight-A transcript it bought me doesn't do much to help me pay it back.
Obviously, if your tuition is covered (by scholarships or your parents) and you're working for pocket money, you should reconsider your priorities and consider working less.
posted by pullayup at 6:46 PM on March 2, 2011
I think this is frankly horrible advice. College tuition has risen considerably in the past ten or fifteen years, and the amount of debt you'll be liable for--even at a public university--is probably large enough to severely limit your choices after you graduate, especially if you assume that the economy will still be poor when you hit the job market.
Its not really horrible advice if the OPs grades start slipping because he cannot handle the workloads and ends up failing/dropping out. Thats what happened to me. I wish I had taken out a loan instead of trying to pay for it with the little financial aid I received and working full-time.
Obviously, the OP should attempt other avenues to reduce stress and ease workload and some good advice has been given.
posted by KogeLiz at 8:32 PM on March 2, 2011
Its not really horrible advice if the OPs grades start slipping because he cannot handle the workloads and ends up failing/dropping out. Thats what happened to me. I wish I had taken out a loan instead of trying to pay for it with the little financial aid I received and working full-time.
Obviously, the OP should attempt other avenues to reduce stress and ease workload and some good advice has been given.
posted by KogeLiz at 8:32 PM on March 2, 2011
Its not really horrible advice if the OPs grades start slipping
Yeah, this is a good point. What I should have emphasized was the importance of remaining pragmatic about your priorities. Your grades do matter, but only up to a point: is there a graduate program you're planning on applying to, or a specific industry you see yourself working in? Will your GPA matter? If so, how, and how much? What other things (work experience, research, non-academic projects, recommendations) will matter as much or more?
It's easy, especially if you're surrounded by a culture of high stress and high expectations, to internalize the message that your academic performance is the most important determiner of your future success; this is really, really not the case, unless you'll only feel successful after you're accepted to medical school.
If you need to leave your job, what will the debt you take on eventually force you to do (or not do)? Do you want the freedom to take a less remunerative but more interesting, or less stressful, job?
posted by pullayup at 9:12 PM on March 2, 2011
Yeah, this is a good point. What I should have emphasized was the importance of remaining pragmatic about your priorities. Your grades do matter, but only up to a point: is there a graduate program you're planning on applying to, or a specific industry you see yourself working in? Will your GPA matter? If so, how, and how much? What other things (work experience, research, non-academic projects, recommendations) will matter as much or more?
It's easy, especially if you're surrounded by a culture of high stress and high expectations, to internalize the message that your academic performance is the most important determiner of your future success; this is really, really not the case, unless you'll only feel successful after you're accepted to medical school.
If you need to leave your job, what will the debt you take on eventually force you to do (or not do)? Do you want the freedom to take a less remunerative but more interesting, or less stressful, job?
posted by pullayup at 9:12 PM on March 2, 2011
Nthing some form of project management tool - Gantt, to-dos, etc - but be careful how you use them. Setting daily deadlines or to-dos and missing them (due to unexpected interruptions for example) does happen, and it can make you feel even more stressed as you watch those arbitrary deadlines pass by. Of course there are some un-moveable deadlines, and you do need to program around them, but for everything else I would recommend using something like the 'Getting Things Done' system (linked below) - especially the weekly review / plan.
Also take some time to reflect on yourself and where you want to go. Stress can sometimes be due to an internal conflict between what you think you should be doing, and what you really want to do.
Talking to someone else (like a counsellor, mentor or a friend with a sympathetic ear) can also be incredibly useful.
If you think that you mostly need to work on personal effectiveness / task management, some reading suggestions:
Getting Things Done
First Things First
For something with a bit more of a holistic / life view (but still focused on effectiveness):
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
posted by KirkpatrickMac at 6:00 AM on March 3, 2011
Also take some time to reflect on yourself and where you want to go. Stress can sometimes be due to an internal conflict between what you think you should be doing, and what you really want to do.
Talking to someone else (like a counsellor, mentor or a friend with a sympathetic ear) can also be incredibly useful.
If you think that you mostly need to work on personal effectiveness / task management, some reading suggestions:
Getting Things Done
First Things First
For something with a bit more of a holistic / life view (but still focused on effectiveness):
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
posted by KirkpatrickMac at 6:00 AM on March 3, 2011
I'm a grad student who was doing this too. I tried everything: I exercised, meditated, did yoga, had massages etc. But it got to the point that I could hardly sleep at all even when I was exhausted, where I would wake up in the middle of the night completely tense, thinking about work/school.
After two nights where I could not sleep, I have just quit my job. When I told my friends every single one of them said something along the lines of, "It's about time, I was getting worried about you because you are badly compromising your health. You need to take care of yourself first."
So, if you can afford to, quit your job. Focus on doing a good job as you finish your degree.
posted by so much modern time at 6:35 AM on March 3, 2011
After two nights where I could not sleep, I have just quit my job. When I told my friends every single one of them said something along the lines of, "It's about time, I was getting worried about you because you are badly compromising your health. You need to take care of yourself first."
So, if you can afford to, quit your job. Focus on doing a good job as you finish your degree.
posted by so much modern time at 6:35 AM on March 3, 2011
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by dougrayrankin at 3:08 PM on March 2, 2011