I just quit my (bad) job and have no new job to go to. I know I need to be proactively seeking work but I'm suffering from confidence problems and bad personal circumstances and finding it difficult. Any tips or similar stories?
posted by Franny26 to work & money (14 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
I took a job with a young and fast-growing company last Spring. It was a new position that seemed to play to many of my strengths (online content management and copywriting). However I quickly discovered that the company is run in a very chaotic style, and that the needs of the company hadn't been properly thought out when they designed the role.
As a result, the work I am doing now is marketing and project-management, and is well outside of my skillset and area of interest. Additionally, I have been given extra responsibilities that were not in my original job description, and I don't have the time or the necessary experience to get everything done. This induces panic and a feeling of constant impending failure.
Although I have had good performance reviews and am well-respected in the company, I find my work terrifying on a daily basis. My manager, who was training me, quit after about 6 weeks and wasn't replaced for a long time. Although I now have a new manager, she has been unable to give me the necessary support or training as the company has quickly co-opted her role for extra responsibilities too, flying her around the globe to meet with different people and absorbing most of her time with meetings. I feel like I am doing everything alone, by the seat of my pants, and at constant risk of screwing up. Additionally I'm required to be available out of hours, including over the Christmas break, which is something that was never disclosed to me at the interview stage and which is damaging my social life and potential for relaxation.
There are two other people doing the same role-type as me but working on different projects. For their own reasons, they are faring better than me (or at least appear to be coping better) and while they also have their complaints, struggles and failings, I feel that I am the only one who truly cannot cut it.
The frustration is that people at work recognise me as a competent and even talented person, but have no job for me other than my chaotic, overloaded and ill-supported current role. I have tried to address this with attempts to improve and better define the role, and I even designed and pitched a new copywriting-led role to company leadership, but again was told respectfully that although there was a need for this, the lack of resources meant that there would be no possibility of it happening in the foreseeable future.
I began to feel increasingly stressed, angry and overwhelmed, and after some frank discussions my new manager and HR guy advised me to get out, find the job I really wanted to do and take control over my career. They agreed that the chances of things calming down or a more suitable role opening up were pretty non-existent. I took their advice and handed in my notice, with an end date of Jan 21st (I'm in the UK), and resolved to find a new job in the meantime.
Unfortunately, these events have co-incided with family illness (my dad has been diagnosed with cancer, albeit of a minor form) and the breakdown of my 2 year relationship. (I live with my ex.)
In retrospect I was stupid to take their advice. I suppose I felt somewhat desperate. The truth is that my CV is not stellar - I have some good experience but of short duration (my longest employment in the 4 years since I graduated is 1 year 2 months), and 8 months at this job won't help the impression of job-hopping to new employers.
I feel that I have failed in my current role and will fail in any new endeavour. At the worst times I feel that I am incapable of coping with any job. I suspect that my mental health is not altogether good right now, because in addition to these negative ideas, I'm constantly tearful, can't sleep and have lost my appetite. To me these are warning signs of depression.
I write this from home - I have taken a couple of days off sick because I'm too distressed to be useful at work. I actually started crying in a meeting yesterday when asked to come up with some work I hadn't done. (That is pretty humiliating and not like me at all.) I've used my poor old dad as an excuse for the tears and the time off, but in all honesty I'm worried for myself as well as him. (He's actually doing pretty well, is retired and has plenty of support while he undergoes treatment.)
To add an extra layer of complication, I responded to the end of my relationship by having a fling with a guy from my team at work. (Again, stupid.) This has gone sour, and he has moved on to a flirtation with another colleague (which happens under my nose each day). I feel completely horrible about myself in this regard too.
I suppose I am asking... can anyone offer any advice about finding a new job, positive self-image, handling anxiety and overwork, and basically surviving? Also, has anyone experienced a similar situation and come out of the other side?
Grateful to anyone who managed to read to the end!