Is my job killing me?
December 1, 2010 9:36 AM Subscribe
I'm pursuing a career, but is it at the cost of the rest of my life?
posted by beefetish to Health & Fitness (13 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Ten months ago I transitioned from office work with light field duties to labor with the understanding that I would be trained for a specific technical position. New job in the field came with a spectacular increase in pay, good benefits, and approval from my family and my new superiors, as well as access to tinkering with machines that make me very happy.
All of this came at the cost of my personal life and emotional well-being. My current position is boring, physically exhausting, and time-consuming. Situations at work rendered my original promised training unfeasible, and it's unclear how long I would be expected to remain in my current position or when the opportunity for training would materialize. Currently I am not permitted to pursue the technical end of things at work because "I have to pay my dues."
Over the last ten months I have given up all of my hobbies and most of my friendships, and my significant other has stated that I have become unacceptably emotionally demanding, to the point where she is reconsidering being with me. Over the last two months I have been suffering from increasingly debilitating mood swings, and have had several anxiety attacks a week since November started. I was also injured and have been on light duty doing basically nothing for the last two weeks. I feel like my mental state has deteriorated -- I spend a lot of time after work (2+ hours) on the phone in hysterical tears about work, or in a sort of catatonic state. When I wake up in the morning I am flooded with unbearable anxiety about work.
Despite this, my performance at work has apparently not suffered.
My upbringing and the culture of my work make it very difficult for me to consider leaving. Also, the economy blows and I moved to a city where it will be difficult to find work if I quit. But it feels like being satisfactory at work is costing me everything else in my life. Please weigh in. I am already going to go see a therapist both on my own volition and as a condition of my girlfriend not leaving me. Any other advice would be really welcome right now. Thanks.