Maybe a dingo can has mai babby
October 10, 2010 11:40 AM Subscribe
I feel really guilty, because of social and family pressure, for not wanting kids. I am sure my guilt over feeling like I want kids is less painful than having a kid I don't really want. Will this feeling of "I'm not an upright citizen because I don't want babies" go away? How can I make it better? How do MeFites without kids (by choice, or not) cope with being asked about it?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (51 answers total) 26 users marked this as a favorite
This isn't about my fear of regretting not having children, it's about feeling crappy for not wanting them at all. I am going to get a tubal ligation next week. I'm in my mid 20's and my family has a horrible health history... Many young deaths and inherited disorders. I've always known I've wanted to adopt kids, if I wanted them at all. I haven't told anyone except a few close friends about the tubal because I am ashamed that I want it... Really badly. I am borderline excited about permanent birth control.
I feel most ashamed that I list medical reasons for wanting the tubal before I eek out, "I really just don't want kids." I know I don't ever have to tell people I had the procedure, much less the real reason, but I hope someday I am more comfortable with being able to say, "kids aren't in the cards."