The fine line between 'gentleman' and 'creep'...
October 7, 2010 3:52 PM Subscribe
How do I offer to escorting my date home without sounding like I'm sleazily trying to invite myself back to her place?
posted by anonymous to human relations (38 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
A friend and his SO have arranged for the three of us and one of her friends to go out on a double date. Me and SO's friend have never met, but have seen pictures of each other (if that matters), and based on her picture and what I've been told by my friend, we seem compatible. My friend also tells me that SO's friend feels the same, based on the same respective info.
I've been out of the dating scene for about 7-8 years, having been in a long-term relationship up until the beginning of this year, so haven't really got a lot of recent experience to fall back on. The 4 of us are due to go out for drinks together, and I guess my question is twofold:
1. Is it old-fashioned for a guy to offer to escort a girl home? I could see how some women might see this as at best, somewhat outdated or at worst, chauvinistic ("Thanks for ensuring poor, defenceless little-old-me gets home Mr Big, Strong Man!"), but I also don't want to come across as boorish by not offering if that's the done thing.
2. If it is the done thing, how does on offer to do this without coming across as a creep, i.e. using it as an excuse to try and invite myself back to her place for 'coffee'? (Just in case it isn't clear, this question isn't "how do I invite myself back to her place but make it sound innocent?", it's "how do I offer to ensure she gets home safely without seeming like I have an ulterior motive?" - there is a difference!)
(possibly) Relevant details:
- I'm male, late 20s.
- She's the same kind of age.
- We're in the UK (London)
- We're going out somewhere that is in in the middle of where each of us lives, so any suggestions of "get a taxi together, drop her off first" won't help, as we're talking about a £75 fare if that happens. Train/bus services are really good (and much less expensive than a taxi) back to each of our respective places, so suggesting a cab could also raise the "ulterior motive" red flag.
- The other couple live local (we're talking 5 minute bus ride) to where we are going out, so making the journey home with them isn't an option.
Anon as my username is the same on every site I have a username for.
Thanks for your help in advance!