Have I regained my sanity?
October 7, 2010 3:52 PM   Subscribe

I was diagnosed with bipolar a few months ago and I've been taking limotrigine ever since. Since then I've noticed that, for the past 5 years or so, even when I wasn't depressed or manic, the way I was thinking was pretty irrational. Among other things I made important decisions like which university to go to and what to study for reasons that don't make any sense to me now, and I had very unrealistic ambitions which I was convinced I would achieve even though I didn't do anything to work towards them. Does bipolar effect the way you think, even when you're not experiencing a manic or depressive episode? And if so would mood stabilizers fight that part of the illness?
posted by Chenko to Health & Fitness (11 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
I can only tell you my personal experience. Yes, even without being manic or depressed, I make strange, illogical decisions. They just become stranger and more illogical when manic or depressed.

Which mood stabilizer will help with that? Only your psychiatrist can tell you that. Medications work differently with everyone.
posted by patheral at 3:55 PM on October 7, 2010


patheral, if Chenko's psychiatrist can tell, I want that psychiatrist!
posted by westerly at 4:01 PM on October 7, 2010


Definitely. My irrational behaviour is tied to the intensity of my mania/depression, but even at my most stable I still deal with this. I saw more change from simply becoming aware of the problem than I ever did from meds, so I'd say you're on the right track.
posted by Lorin at 4:28 PM on October 7, 2010


Yes, and yes.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:32 PM on October 7, 2010


Westerly, all I'm saying it that it's trial and error at best when it comes to meds. Topamax works for me, but it doesn't work for a lot of people. I think Depakote is the most evil drug ever invented but others swear by it. Only a psychiatrist can prescribe meds and only by working with one can someone know what's gonna work or not.
posted by patheral at 7:18 PM on October 7, 2010


A brain with bipolar disorder works in specific ways, because of the bipolar disorder itself; it isn't a switch that turns off and on, but rather is a condition that's always present but is expressed in varying presentations/degrees at any given time. Bipolar disorder can certainly be characterized by a lot of impulsive and not-very-moderated decision-making, which is a VERY common symptom of the disorder that often serves as the prompt to get some treatment.
posted by so_gracefully at 10:52 PM on October 7, 2010


That's very similar to my experience with lithium. I've experienced a gradual process of unlearning those habits of mind (particularly the black-and-white-thinking) that come with the bipolar territory. Getting rid of those has improved my quality of life, and the quality of life of those around me, more than anything else.
posted by Marty Marx at 12:30 AM on October 8, 2010


This:

"Among other things I made important decisions like which university to go to and what to study for reasons that don't make any sense to me now, and I had very unrealistic ambitions which I was convinced I would achieve even though I didn't do anything to work towards them"

is distressingly familiar. Unfortunately, I can't comment on the usefulness of medications, but I can say that being aware of the problem (and to a certain extent, accepting of it) makes a difference. Just knowing that you need to take a second, hard (and somewhat cynical) look at bright new ideas/fixations can help cut down on the ensuing mistakes.
posted by missix at 9:22 AM on October 8, 2010


(outing myself as bipolar) OH HELL YES. This: Among other things I made important decisions like which university to go to and what to study for reasons that don't make any sense to me now, and I had very unrealistic ambitions which I was convinced I would achieve even though I didn't do anything to work towards them" exactly, plus buying stuff I didn't really need, getting into awful drama-filled relationships, treating people badly...I'll spare you the gory details.

Thankfully, looking back, I chose a good M.A. program despite it all. And now I'm on Lamotrigine (Lamictal) which has made it like night and day. I feel like a normal functioning human for the first time. I only regret that I wasn't diagnosed sooner (for various reasons), now I'm trying to get my life together at a much later age than most.

You can have my Lamictal when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. I'm amazed at how - down-to-earth is the best way to describe it - I am now compared to then.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 10:16 AM on October 8, 2010


Response by poster: Some people with bipolar have ADHD like symptoms, as just one example.

This definitely rings true. I have trouble planning and organising things and I have a very short attention span.

I also find it very hard to talk to people because I can't get my thoughts in order fast enough. I'm pretty smart (I was at the top of my year until I was around 15, when I had my first major depression) and I have intelligent opinions but I can't articulate them (either by talking or writing).
posted by Chenko at 3:00 PM on October 8, 2010


I have intelligent opinions but I can't articulate them may be due to racing thoughts. Practicing writing and meditation is helpful. I answer lots of ask.me questions. It's good writing practice, and sometimes it helps me get moving when I'm kind of unfocused.
posted by theora55 at 12:42 PM on October 9, 2010


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