Herpes -- When to Tell?
August 3, 2010 4:31 AM Subscribe
New relationship and herpes: When to tell?
posted by IKnittedThisSockPuppetMyself to human relations (10 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
For the first time, I'm starting a long distance relationship -- we met on OKCupid. Me: Female. Him: Male. Both in our mid 40s. We have chatted online and talked on the phone, and we're going to meet in person this weekend. He lives about 3 hours away.
I contracted herpes 20+ years ago. Very rare outbreaks now, but of course one still has to tell people, and before sexy time. I know all that. I usually bring it up about the time that making out starts to seem like it's going to turn into clothes coming off pretty soon. That may or may not be the best time, but that's been my pattern over the years.
So, my question is, should I bring it up sooner in an LDR? Because of the distance, the dates are less casual and seem somehow more momentous, and I guess I'm afraid of investing too much emotion (and travel) into someone who might end up using those cutting words "deal breaker." On the other hand, when you're just meeting someone, it seems crass to start talking about sex and possible diseases that quickly. Opinions, please?