it's over, it's over, it's over... is it?
May 11, 2005 6:16 AM Subscribe
How do you know your relationship is worth fighting for? Or, how do you know when to call it quits?
posted by anonymous to human relations (25 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
We've been dating a year. He's there, I'm here, about 1/2 of it has been long distance. We'd both been having thoughts that the relationship wasn't working that well, but with the distance and stress of finals, I just figured we'd work it out this summer when we'd be together, working in another city.
Then one night a few weeks ago, he pounced and said that we need to talk about our relationship before the summer. It was horrible timing: my own finals had just started, his were a few weeks away, and we had agreed that no relationship talks would happen over the phone. That night we broke up, but we've kind of peeled back to say that "we'll talk about it when I get up there." I'm going to see him soon. The shock of it all has settled down a bit, but I have been crying for most of the past two weeks, and I don't really want that to happen the entire time I'm with him.
I have a feeling that if one of us says that we want to work it out for the summer, the other will go for it, at least to see how it goes. I have no idea if he's going to say that, but I'm trying to figure out what I personally want to happen. So my question to you, dear MeFites, is: how do you know that it's over? If you have to ask that question, does that give you the answer? Or, is the first breakup of a long distance relationship something to work through, if a summer together might help things? This was my first serious relationship - the first one that I really cared deeply about and whether or not it ends. What advice can you give me? We both still really care about each other, but I'm unclear how to go from here. This is absolutely wrenching my heart around, and I think my finals have suffered already - if the relationship can be patched up, maybe it will be worth it. What do you ask yourself to figure out what you really want? I usually have a sense of intuition stronger than magnetic north, but this time I feel like I'm totally floundering.