How can I find balance in my life with newfound social success?
June 30, 2010 12:50 PM Subscribe
I need some help finding balance. I've gone through a number of changes in my life lately, and it's been amazing. But the changes have caused my work life to suffer, and I've just taken on a new job, so this is not a good time. Anxiety, exercise, confidence, and a loss of balance all come into play here... I need some help putting it all together.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (10 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
This will be a bit scatter shot, so bear with me a bit.
I dealt with anxiety for a very long time, never quite realizing it until reading a lot about it here on AskMefi. I went to my doctor, talked about it, and in May of this year I started on Cipralex.
To say it's made a huge difference in my life is a huge understatement. It's helped me manage my anxiety to an incredible degree, and helped my self confidence enormously. How I project myself to people has changed a lot, and my confidence in social situations has been fantastic.
A bit before I started on the anxiety meds, I started working out with a personal trainer. I have made some changes to my diet, and cut out smoking pot. I've lost about 20 lbs since then, but still have a ways to go. I have been off training at the gym for about a month now (I went on vacation for a week, then had two weeks of company training, so my schedule was crazy).
These two changes have made my social life much more interesting - girls are interested in me, I'm having a lot of fun going out, and things I would dread before have become reasons to get excited. I never know what's going to happen. It's... amazing, exciting, occasionally frustrating in a good way, and just generally I feel like a real man for the first time in my life.
But this has seriously thrown off my work. I just recently got a huge promotion, to a job that gives me a lot of independence and in many ways has me running my own business (I manage a portfolio of clients).
The demands of me for this new job are significant, I have a lot of courses that I need to complete on my own, and still have to keep bringing in money.
And I'm not. I'm going out all the time, I've come to work hungover too many times and it makes my whole day hell. My productivity sucks right now.
But when I get home at the end of the day, and my phone rings and someone wants to do something, I WANT TO DO IT. It's fun, it's hard to say no, especially because in so many ways this is all new and exciting for me.
How do you get the balance back? I feel like I should be taking advantage of my new confidence and success with girls, but if my work life falls apart, god knows where I'll be.
If it helps, I'm 27, male, and have probably only dated like 3 or 4 times in my life before this, and never had any real relationships because of the anxiety and confidence issues.