Getting to no
June 18, 2010 12:28 PM Subscribe
How do a get an honest rejection at a bar?
posted by Hactar to human relations (60 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
This may have been a isolated incident, but it's shaken my confidence more than I'd like: I chatted up a woman at a bar, things go swimmingly, we get along well, I buy her a drink, she needs to run, we exchange numbers, excellent.
I try calling in two days, get a text back "Dude, she gave you the wrong number."
I'm nearly certain I got the number she gave me at the bar right and she gave me a full name- one that is not around on facebook or anywhere else, actually. So I'm thinking rather than saying no, she gave me fake information.
I'd much rather have her tell me to buzz off. I gave her a couple of opportunities to explicitly say "no" to further contact, but all signs pointed to good.
I'm ok with getting turned down. It took me a while to get there. I'm not so ok with having a pleasant evening and finding I've been fooled.
So how do I make it so that women who aren't interested simply say no to me? The idea of facing this again has drastically diminished my confidence with talking to random people everywhere. Up until this, I was on my way to earning a reputation for being fearless in talking to people. Now, I feel like I've lost some of that ability.
And if this is honestly an unusual event, please let me know.