How can I stop being so sensitive?
October 26, 2009 10:48 AM Subscribe
I'd like to be less sensitive to rejection, as well as situations that aren't actually rejection but that I take as such. I've had social anxiety for as long as I can remember (I'm nineteen), and I have only come out of my shell in the last few months. Because of this, I'm incredibly sensitive to what others may think of me, since I've never really had friends and don't want people to dislike me.
posted by anonymous to human relations (23 answers total) 33 users marked this as a favorite
An example of this happened yesterday. I was helping my boyfriend with laundry, and because I didn't know where to put his Aunt's clothing I put both of her loads in the drier at the same time. (Something I do all the time at home, and assumed was OK.) She gave me a mini-lecture in an irritated tone of voice, and that was it.
Yet, after that I felt so bad I started crying (not in front of her.) When I told her I didn't know where to put her stuff, she said "that's when you ask," which is when I started scolding myself for having such poor social skills that I didn't even think to ask where her clothes go, then I told myself I was a bad person because I could've cost the family money for a new drier, that she probably hates me now, etc.
Another example would be in lab; I asked for help with an equation, the professor scolded me for not looking it over beforehand, and it was very hard for me not to start crying right there. I ended up giving up and leaving lab early.
I could give plenty more examples, but I think you get the jist of it. I should note that this also happens online - I received a rude response from a customer service rep not too long ago and it ruined my night.
I noticed that most people, when faced with such situations, tend to think, "Wow, that person is a bitch," or "They must be having a bad day." I've tried telling myself this, and even though I can logically say, "Well, this and that happened and it isn't my fault," it never sticks. I always end up internalizing it and feeling terrible. I also blame myself for having poor social skills quite frequently.
How can I overcome this? At the moment I don't have time to see a therapist, although I do plan to do that in the future.