How to handle Christmas stay envy?
November 22, 2009 2:45 PM Subscribe
What's the best way to stand up to my mother about Christmas and to handle her jealousy about our better relationship with my partner's parents? She's determined to make the holiday season into a zero sum game with my partner's mother
posted by Flitcraft to human relations (42 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
My partner and I originally set a rule of not going to either party's parents for Christmas, but doing our own thing instead- partly to have fun and partly to avoid my very difficult mother who goes into overdrive at Christmas. This worked until partner agreed that we should spend last Christmas with his parents, arguing that just because my mother is very difficult, his mother shouldn't be deprived. We weren't able to stop my mother finding out, and she's now trying to leverage it into guilting us into spending Christmas with her and my stepfather. When I say no, (and I'm going to) there's going to be a major tantrum about why she isn't getting the same treatment and she will cast up to me everything I/we've done with my partner's parents. The truth is, they're a lot easier to get on with, and we're a lot more comfortable with them, but I can't say this to her without hurting her/ making for an even worse argument. What's the best way to handle her jealousy of our better relationship with my partner's parents?