How to make friends online
September 18, 2009 1:23 PM Subscribe
How does one make friends on an online dating site?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (15 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
I just moved back to the NYC/NJ area after graduating from college this spring. I don't have any friends here--the one friend I had from high school is now a med student in Southern California--and I'd really like to change that. Unfortunately, making friends isn't easy for me because I have Asperger's and social anxiety disorder. It's incredibly difficult for me to just go to someone's party or a bar and meet people there--I just don't know how.
So I try to find other ways to do it. I much prefer meeting someone online first then seeing them IRL, and also structured things like stuff on Meetup.com, but that's proving difficult in this case: with the Meetups, the event either conflicts with my schedule or is so pricey that I can't afford it at the time (I'm working part-time rather than full-time because of the economy, so budget-friendly activities are a huge plus). As for the online front, I'm not that active on any internet bulletin boards, a lot of my LJ friends don't live in the area, and I've tried the strictly platonic section of Craigslist, with very mixed results.
I've heard a lot of great things about OKCupid, both for finding friends and romantic partners, and so I'd like to try there. Thing is, I have tried OKC in the past for both myself, and it didn't quite work out--I rarely got any responses from people, and when I did, it never really came to a real-life meeting. In addition, while it was easy for me to message people if I was interested in getting to know them romantically, getting to know them just platonically was difficult, especially if that person was a female (I'm also a girl, and I don't swing that way). I just didn't know how to do it without being afraid that the person at the other end would get the wrong idea. I simply didn't know how to say I was only interested platonically through a site primarily geared towards romance.
I'd still like to give it another go, though. Has anyone had any success finding friends on OKC? What did you do and how did you do it? Any profile tips (mine needs a lot of work)?