Should I join?

July 12, 2009 9:57 AM

Should I join Mensa? Details inside.

I'm in a somewhat new city (been here about two years). I have a nice group of good friends, a few professional acquaintances in my field, etc.

Recently there's been some rumblings about layoffs at my company and I've come to the conclusion that my network here, both friends and professionals, isn't nearly big enough. So I've decided to be more of a joiner, and I signed up for a soccer league in the fall and a running group, as well as Toastmasters.

Anyway, one thought that occurred to me was joining Mensa. I'm pretty sure I qualify (I did well on the GRE, which they accept) but I'm concerned about the social stigma of making a big deal out of one's intelligence. I'm not pretentious and I'm not a showoff, but I also don't want to turn down any potential networking opportunity.

So I guess the question is - is Mensa a good way to meet new people, for professional networking or otherwise? Or are the meetings just kind of an intellectual wankfest? Any and all experiences welcome.

posted by downing street memo to human relations (37 comments total)

I'm concerned about the social stigma of making a big deal out of one's intelligence

this plus this

I'm not pretentious and I'm not a showoff

means you're probably not going to like the people at MENSA, who tend to be unconcerned with either of those things I just quoted.
posted by allen.spaulding at 10:17 AM on July 12 [6 favorites]

but I'm concerned about the social stigma of making a big deal out of one's intelligence

You don't need to tell other people you're a member, if you become one.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:17 AM on July 12 [2 favorites]

The thing about intelligence (me being a Mensa-qualifying person myself who is a college student so cannot afford the membership fees and thinks high-IQ societies are generally for the fraction of smart people who are undisciplined and who can't really make it in, y'know, stuff like science or law - most smart people who have the discipline to make it in certain fields generally find intellectual camaraderie in their field) is that in a lot of ways, you gotta let your brains speak for themselves, because I've learned (and in some cases, the hard way) that you have to show your high intelligence through your actions - THEN people will acknowledge that you've got more neurons than most.

Mensa, I hear, is pretty good for the networking, and is not a 'wankfest', whatever that is (there's a difference between what I think you mean by 'intellectual wankfest', which seems to involve a sort of 'look at me' sort of narcissism and insecurity, and actual neuron-stimulating conversation between people who are smarter than the unwashed masses about, say, the mathematics behind piezoelectricity, which delve into tensor algebra, or the finer points of informal logic) - the conversation is supposedly good and the camaraderie is supposed to be pretty great and the people are actually not a pain in the ass to deal with.
posted by kldickson at 10:23 AM on July 12 [2 favorites]

Well, let me correct that a bit - some of the people may not be a pain in the ass to deal with. Look for your professional societies first, because I wouldn't recommend joining Mensa unless you're desperate.
posted by kldickson at 10:25 AM on July 12

Mensa is a great way to meet misfits who really love riddles, especially if they're written in Klingon. Professionals, not so much. They're busy actualizing their talent in demonstrative ways.
posted by bunnytricks at 10:30 AM on July 12 [6 favorites]

Thanks, just to clarify, I'm really not particularly interested in the intellectual stimulation part of joining Mensa. I mean, it'll be a nice bonus if I do decide to join, but if I do join it'll be mainly to meet people, and more specifically meet people who can help me find leads on professional opportunities. That sounds very utilitarian, I know, but I have plenty of opportunity for free intellectual stimulation; I don't really need to pay membership dues to have a good conversation.
posted by downing street memo at 10:30 AM on July 12

I never went to any meetings over the course of several years before my membership lapsed. I was rather put off -- fairly or not -- by the silly one-upsmanship in the letters to the editor (Is hip-hop a legigimate variety of music? Are tattoos and piercings attractive?) of the U.S. national magazine. The thing to remember about Mensa is that it's a self-selected subset of a larger group of people who have done very well on at least one standardized test -- and that's all.

Still, my advice would be to go ahead and join and see what comes of it. As you said, another potential networking opportunity is hardly ever a bad thing. I think you'll get a good feel of how useful it is fairly quickly after you join.

On preview: +1 to kldickson's point about people who let their intelligence speak for itself. IMO that should temper your expectations, but it should not deter you from checking it out.
posted by timing at 10:31 AM on July 12

Seconding timing, above--I also attended no meetings before my membership ran out and I elected not pay dues for another year.

I wanted to meet fun, interesting people and found myself rather turned off by just the nitpicking behavior timing mentions (you think Mefites overthink a plate of beans? They're amateurs compared to Mensans).

I'd recommend finding other networking organizations/forums through sites like LinkedIn over joining Mensa in an attempt to make professional associations. It's not going to do you any real harm to join, but I think you'll find it a waste of time in the long run.
posted by misha at 10:58 AM on July 12

thinks high-IQ societies are generally for the fraction of smart people who are undisciplined and who can't really make it in, y'know, stuff like science or law - most smart people who have the discipline to make it in certain fields generally find intellectual camaraderie in their field

I wouldn't exactly put it that way, but my grandfather was in Mensa, and he was a T.V. repairman. I think he basically joined because there weren't a lot of people in his life who wanted to talk about some of the stuff that interested him. If he'd gone to college and been able to have the kind of job that attracted a lot of smart people who enjoyed talking about ideas, then he wouldn't have needed Mensa. So I guess I do wonder if Mensa selects for high-IQ people who in fact don't have high-powered careers.

Anecdote =/= data and all that, of course.
posted by craichead at 11:05 AM on July 12

Without exception, every Mensa member I've met has been, conspicuously, an insecure arsehole. (Same goes for non-members who still mention that they would qualify as members.)

Also, no remarkably intelligent person I've known would want to be part of that crowd.

However, the answer to your question is: join if you want to practise networking with insecure arseholes. Because in many lines of work this is the most important skill of all.
posted by cincinnatus c at 11:10 AM on July 12

Every Mensa member I've met thinks that being 'smart' is a reason for them to act odd in public....in general I find them annoying.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 11:17 AM on July 12

I guess I do wonder if Mensa selects for high-IQ people who in fact don't have high-powered careers.

I suspect that's true. I joined when I was a preacher for a tiny church. That doesn't create a lot of opportunities for intellectual stimulation. The people I remember meeting were mainly stay-at-home moms, retirees, or entrepreneurs who ran small business. Basically, it was smart folks whose life didn't otherwise create opportunities for meeting other smart folks. When I built up a network in other ways, I let my membership lapse. It could be different where you live, but in my experience, Mensa would be a spectacularly lousy venue for business networking.

I didn't particularly care for the general meet-ups, but some of the special interest groups were kind of fun. If you city is big enough to have a large Mensa group with lots of sub-groups, and if there is an active special interest group related to your field, maybe some good networking would come out of that. Short of that, probably not.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 11:19 AM on July 12

I qualified to join late in high school. I met the local Mensa society in the fairly large city I was living in.

I may have had a totally different experience than ANY other mensa members in that city or any other city have...but I thought they were total douchebags.

I seriously thought they would have used their intelligence to do something really fun or beneficial, or just ANYTHING.

If you would like to go to a museum and snark at all the things, talk about how much more you know than the people who work at the museum, take the fun out of everything, and leave knowing that regardless of whether you do anything constructive in society you are better than everyone...then become an active member of Mensa.

Total douchebags...and they were totally mean to a high school kid who wanted to make friends because he didn't really have any at his own school (me). At first I thought it was some kind of hazing...but then I realized they were kinda threatened because I was young(er than they were).

As for professional networking...again, maybe my experience is totally different from other mensa members in other cities...but 75% of them were happily unemployed. You know, because they refused to work at a job that was below them.
posted by hal_c_on at 11:21 AM on July 12

I'm concerned about the social stigma of making a big deal out of one's intelligence

The real question becomes, would you best served in all circumstances in saying that you know Joe or Jill Haiqu through your common membership in Mensa.

Given the immediate negative reactions of some people here, my guess is not.

Running clubs less controversial, even among non-athaletes. Ditto church. Ditto clog dancing. Stick with those, I say.

Also you might consider taking short term group lessons in areas of possible interest to useful people. Cooking, wine tasting, sailing, para-gliding- bound to be things of that sort in your area. Even if you meet no one, you at least have picked up new knowledge and conversation fodder.
posted by IndigoJones at 11:24 AM on July 12

So popular wisdom is that MENSA is just a group of pretentious twats, and a few anecdotal data points would support that. However, it is not nearly as exclusive as one might think when you see what test scores will allow admission. Probably a goodly percentage of MeFites would qualify. Most people are probably just bright like yourself and you don't know they are in the group because they don't talk about it outside the group. Anyway, you might as well try it if you think it will potentially help you to make a few personal and professional connections. I certainly wouldn't go telling other people about it, or even put it on your resume though.
posted by caddis at 11:40 AM on July 12 [1 favorite]

Save your money and spend it on something worthwhile.

Mensa is the lowest tier of the exclusionary clubs.... even the 'IQ' they screen is a rarity level of 2 in 100. BFD. There's also Triple 9, Three Sigma, and Intertel, though I don't know if any of them still exist. I expect there is a "Top Dog" society somewhere with two members who discuss how stupid everyone else is. While they are doing that, there are lots of other people outperforming them in almost all respects of life. Pretty lame.

I think if you are looking for networking, this is not the group you need to join. All cities of any size have plenty of opportunities for community leadership activities, and you are more likely to meet people in your age cohort and accomplishment level there, and set up long term networking connections than you are in a group whose common attribute is so trivial as is Mensa.
posted by FauxScot at 11:53 AM on July 12 [1 favorite]

I've always thought the concept of an organization dedicated to being more intelligent than other people was a little silly, but I have to admit that I've never really met anybody who's a member of MENSA and I don't know much about what they do; and, as I get older, I'm learning that an open mind can be a good thing.

Anyhow, I just wanted to mention: I'm pretty sure (although I don't remember how I know; maybe it used to be on her user page) that EmpressCallipygos is a member of MENSA; you could drop her a MefiMail and ask what it's like. (EmpressCallipygos, if I'm totally wrong about this, my apologies.)
posted by koeselitz at 11:55 AM on July 12

It's free? Right. I joined Mensa in a fit of joining when I moved to a new city. I did meet people and learn my way around - but I cannot for the life of me remember if the two or three Mensa dinners I went to helped that in any way. I don't remember them being pretentious twats or unemployed, just regular folks.

Lessons and cooking classes are not free, but they can be useful - both in meeting people and getting out of your own head or rut or whatever.

Volunteering is usually free. Although in my personal experience, you tend to spend that time with people who tend toward the right-wing and high schools students who need the resume points. (That trend appeard in the last decade or so.)
posted by Lesser Shrew at 11:55 AM on July 12

I'm concerned about the social stigma of making a big deal out of one's intelligence

That's a good thing to be concerned about.

I don't know anything about Mensa, but the idea of it weirds me out.
posted by mpls2 at 11:59 AM on July 12

I think the cleverer thing to do would be to save yourself the membership fee and just get yourself a Mensa T-shirt.
posted by dunkadunc at 12:34 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]

I have never met anyone interesting who was a Mensa member in my life, and I'm 44. (Though if I had ever met Pater Aletheias in person, I would be talking differently!) I'm talking dozens and dozens of Mensa members, and not a single one of them someone I enjoyed spending time with--and I'm a hyperintellectual nerdface.

I do know some cool people who have joined Toastmasters, though, and it's a great way to meet really wacky old codgers like my husband's uncle.

Another good way to meet worthwhile people and potentially awesome new friends is through volunteering.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:10 PM on July 12

I'm guessing that I probably know some Mensa members who have never mentioned that they're members. So I won't condemn them all as being jerks.

However, the self-outed Mensa members that I do know name drop their affiliation at every possible opportunity and are generally quite obnoxious. Kind of, "I'm always the smartest guy in the room, and if you don't believe it, just ask me" style people.

I'll never forget back in the 1982 at a computer club meeting when the single Mensa member of our club declared that the IBM PC was a totally worthless object and had no future because when you first turned it on and got a cursor on the screen, and you typed in:

1 A$="HELLO"
2 PRINT A$

RUN

...you got error messages every time you hit ENTER, since you were in the operating system and not BASIC. Being a Radio Shack TRS-80 Model 1 owner, he vocally asserted that he'd discovered a major bug the first time he sat down at a PC.

I always think of that guy when the subject of Mensa comes up.

Also, my late father in law was a member, and while he didn't tout his credentials constantly, nothing made him happier than launching off on a tangent at considerable length about some obscure factoid only peripherally related to whatever was being discussed.

Mensa is probably a good way to meet new people, but you have to ask yourself if they're the people you really want to meet.
posted by imjustsaying at 2:09 PM on July 12

No.
posted by delmoi at 2:28 PM on July 12

I used to belong, once in a small city and then transferred my membership to a large city when I moved. The two places had totally different clubs. The small city had interesting meetups with people from a wide variety of backgrounds, although come to think of it, we were all quite bookish. I thought I'd find the same thing but more so in the large city. No such luck. There my experience was much like the unpleasant ones noted in previous posts. One year, not being able to afford both a new handbag and the annual membership fees, I bought the handbag and haven't ever regretted the choice.

To be honest, in hindsight I'd save the fees, especially if needing to network for a job. Most of the Mensans I knew were non-starters stuck in jobs they didn't like. There were some significant exceptions, but too few to justify joining in order to network.

I think you'd have better luck volunteering in a cause you care about.
posted by angiep at 2:34 PM on July 12

Color me taken aback by all the Mensa hatred here. Mr. Adams and I are members, and I can't say that we've met a large percentage of pretentious douchbags. Sure, there are a few, as there are in any organization, but the Regional Gatherings we've gone to have included mostly seemingly normal, fun folks. We get together and play board games and have wine tastings and view presentations put on by members with various hobbies (model airplanes, magic, things like that). It may not be for everyone, but it's certainly not all a bunch of anti-social geeks analyzing non-Euclidian geometric theories. It's a way to meet new people, and maybe make new friends, but probably not much of a business networking-type vehicle. In my experience, most Mensans don't exchange business cards at gatherings and talk "shop."
posted by Oriole Adams at 2:36 PM on July 12

It's a low-risk decision. I say go for it. You will not be required to wear a scarlet M. You will not be branded. You pay some money and if you find these people annoying and unhelpful for your intended purposes, you walk away. They do not own you for life. You will not be dragged to dark rituals where you wear robes, chant digits of pi, and make bloody sacrifice of your humility.

That having been said, do not put your membership on your resume. Yes, people do this. No, it's not a great idea.
posted by adipocere at 2:51 PM on July 12

Anyway, one thought that occurred to me was joining Mensa. I'm pretty sure I qualify...

Everyone qualifies. It's like 98th percentile or something, which means that in America, pretty much anyone who can string a dozen words together into a legit sentence qualifies. Consider the average level of Internet writing skillz. Check out Yahoo Answers sometime.

The fact people brag about Mensa membership is painfully ironic. And as others said above, it's one of the most eye-rolling resume items, and there seems to be a high crossover with very-annoying-people. Not Mensa members, note, but those who insist on TELLING YOU they're Mensa members. My experience with Toastmasters is similar, actually.

I say if you need a social community of people of above-average intelligence to hang out with, organize a MeFi meetup.

It'll be full of Wile E. Coyotes.
posted by rokusan at 3:11 PM on July 12

You'd be better off going to Meetups related to your field, or joining any number of professional associations--even outside your own profession. I'm not a lawyer or constitutional scholar, but always I had a hell of a good time attending lectures and cocktail parties at the Supreme Court Historical Society. The lectures and events at Brookings and RAND always draw a superbright crowd, too.
posted by aquafortis at 3:24 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]

I was a (UK) member for a year, but didn't go to any of the meetups. From my brief experience, and general thoughts: similar to any group of people, some in Mensa will be people you do/don't like (whether because of their reasons for joining, personality, etc.).

If you're looking for professional networking opportunities, you'd be much better off joining a focused society, and some friends have even had positive experiences with linkedin
posted by paulesque at 4:05 PM on July 12

I can't say I recommend joining. My experience was extremely similar to timing's:

I never went to any meetings over the course of several years before my membership lapsed. I was rather put off -- fairly or not -- by the silly one-upsmanship in the letters to the editor... of the U.S. national magazine. The thing to remember about Mensa is that it's a self-selected subset of a larger group of people who have done very well on at least one standardized test -- and that's all.

I am completely certain that a meetup would do you far, far better, and I say that as someone who still hasn't made it to a meetup yet.
posted by somanyamys at 4:21 PM on July 12

I'd recommend Meetup.com. Rather than join Mensa and play board games and go to wine tastings, find a meetup for people who like playing board games and tasting wine or whatever your professional and personal interests may be. No membership fee and most of the meet-ups are free or have minimal costs to help with administration.

Depending on your profession, you might also see if your city has a Likemind chapter as well. It's supposed to be un-networking (though people are usually networking) for creative professionals.
posted by Colonel_Chappy at 4:54 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]

I say if you need a social community of people of above-average intelligence to hang out with, organize a MeFi meetup.

That is excellent advice, but you might still want to do the M thing.
posted by caddis at 6:08 PM on July 12

Call your local chapter and ask if you can attend a meeting as a guest.

I did that a few years ago, joining was not necessary to discover how little I enjoyed the meeting, it merely sucked a few hours out of my life. According to a friend who came with me, they can be better in different regions.
posted by yohko at 6:47 PM on July 12

To be honest, I think you might have better chances at meeting intellectual people and extending your network at a Metafilter meetup rather than a Mensa meetup.
posted by dunkadunc at 8:59 PM on July 12

Hatin' on Mensa is, as you might have guessed by now, downing street memo, the long standing default MeFi consensus position. But a lot depends on the particular local group of Mensans you infiltrate. In 1985, in Boston, there was a core of aged 20- to 30-somethings in that group, that was a ton of fun, and included people from all the top area colleges and universities (both students and faculty), as well as many independent business people, artists, and people from all walks of life. There were 8 to 10 events a month, which reliably drew from the membership a rolling average of 40 to 50 people, and there was plenty of interest in various SIGs (Special Interest Groups), so that finding other "birds of a feather" was never a problem.

A couple of annual events were always memorable, and drew much bigger attendance, including the Summer Solstice party hosted, for years, by one Cambridge couple that had met in Boston Mensa. People actually came from all over the world for that event, and it was always a great time.

I think part of the reason Boston Mensa of that era was such a vibrant group was that it largely pre-dated on-line socializing, and was based in a city with a huge college/university population and good mass transit. The group, in those pre-Web days, still published a hard copy monthly mailed newsletter (the Beacon, which looks like they are still publishing, if only electronically), which contained the calendar, and they had a phone bank and phone tree system for the infrequently required updates to event locations, dates and times.

Since that era, American Mensa has been through a major internal political upheaval, and reorganization, and many of the old timers that once helped the organization grow are no longer affiliated with it. Moreover, in the move of headquarters from NYC to Texas in the 1990s, a lot of membership information and organizational history was lost, so the current National office organization seems a creature of whole cloth unto itself, to long time and former members.

All that said, I suspect you'd find Mensa is not unlike most other social organizations, in that you get out of it, largely what you are willing to put into it, within the confines of the membership in your geographical area. I doubt you can judge any local group's potential for meeting your interests from a single meeting, or even a few meetings, as very few events get even a fraction of the total local membership. You have to put some effort into getting to know the group, and letting the group get to know you, before it is apparent whether you would really enjoy participating. And while I don't personally think Mensa is highly productive as a business networking organization, I know a lot of couples, married and otherwise, who first met in Mensa, and dozens of long time friends who trace their friendships to Mensa.
posted by paulsc at 10:58 PM on July 12 [1 favorite]

Nthing the board gamer/roleplayer crowd. The IQ level is about the same, and the conversation is at least as likely to be interesting. As with most clubs though, you can always show up as a guest before you join as a member.

For business and professional networking, try your local Chamber of Commerce, try local BNI chapters, try professional associations of fields related to your own, look for business breakfast groups on Facebook, LinkedIn etc in your city, and whenever you find a group, ask people about other groups. Networkers in my experience come in two categories: those who attend only one networking group, and those who attend every single one that will let them. The latter category are always looking for guests to come with them; most networking groups at least somewhat encourage guest-bringing.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 12:21 AM on July 13

As a Mensa member, my insight:
Networking ? Not really but YMMV.
Find a Mensa Member in your area (I can help if you like) and ask for a list of events and see if you can't attend them as a guest. I have no doubt they would be delighted to escort you...or someone else they know would.
Yes, there are pretentious types. You can avoid them...or beat them in chess like I do. :)
The SIGs (Special Interest Groups) are where the real action is. The magazine is interesting, I skip the letters section myself.
You can get the SIG aspect with meetup. (Mensa is obsolete!?).
The gatherings are good to sample different interests I never thought about before.
I don't tell people I meet that I am in Mensa. I really don't consider that an achievement.
I go to a few local activities every now and again.
I have learned to have a thick enough skin to deal with the "You don't know anything about assembly programming? But you are a programmer..." stuff. I can't know everything about everything, or even about computer science.
I believe in learning something I didn't know before, and if the pretentious type needs to teach it for his ego, that's fine with me.
I haven't taken advantage of some aspects yet but I should :SIGHT (for travelers) etc.
I do join in the conversations, even if i am ignorant, without fear of being seen as stupid (see thick skin) because its fun for me.
posted by CodeMonkey at 9:38 AM on July 14