Why be friends after a breakup?
March 6, 2009 11:23 AM Subscribe
After a breakup that is not mutual, what is the purpose of staying friends with the person who dumped you?
posted by RajahKing to Human Relations (32 answers total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
I am curious to hear your opinions, in regards to personal growth/health/happiness, as to why it may be a good or bad practice to stay friends with exes.
My story that generated the question is simply that I was dumped recently after a ten month relationship (in an entirely appropriate way) but I miss her and feel hurt, and right now I can’t imagine why I would or should put myself through the pain of ever seeing her as a friend. She seems to desire friendship. We move in separate social circles so avoiding her is not difficult. On the other hand, a friendship would be feasible in the sense that we live close to each other and participate in similar team activities.
I am in my early thirties, have had a normal amount of relationships, and in fact remember being friends with exes in the past (usually as a result of mutual breakups). But I am not asking about my situation in particular; I know I need a lot of space right now to get over it, lick my wounds, and maybe down the road I’ll feel differently. The question is more about the purposefulness and/or personal growth aspects.
So, do you think there is a purposeful reason, for personal growth, happiness, or otherwise, to be open to post-relationship friendship?
This is my first question for AskMeFi, I hope its appopriate vis a vis the guidelines - thanks.