Is it okay to stop maintaining contact with a longtime 'friend'?
August 26, 2013 10:32 AM Subscribe
I have a 'friend' with whom I am not interested in maintaining a friendship any longer. She seems to feel otherwise and is being a bit persistent. I keep ignoring her emails and phone calls, but still, every few months or so, there she is. I really don't want to have to tell
her that I don't want to be her friend anymore. What can I do?
posted by anonymous to human relations (37 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
I have known this person since high school ; we're now in our thirties. We were close friends in our teens and twenties, but now I feel like we're no longer compatible and don't have very much in common. The truth is that, for various reasons, I don't like her very much anymore and don't like who I am when I'm with her. I become irritable, somewhat bitchy and impatient.
I've seen her once for coffee in the past year or so, and in the past few years, have had minimal contact with her. I tend to not return calls, nor reply to emails. This may be passive agressive, but it seems to me that it would be even more unkind to simply tell her that I don't want to be friends anymore.
In the past few months, she's resumed contact with me again. Once by emailing (and including my sister in the email), saying we should see one another soon. And more recently on the occasion of my birthday -- she phoned and emailed. Again, she asks if we can see one another soon. I've ignored all of these. I've always felt guilty about ignoring her, but now I'm also thinking she's being very stubborn about our relationship, or what's left of it.
I've read other Ask MeFi posts about similar situations, but feel like I still need your advice about this, Mefites. I currently don't have the energy, nor the interest in seeing this person. I'm in the middle of clinical depression, if it matters. So, should I just keep ignoring her? Is it actually okay to do that? Apart from actually telling her to leave me alone, what can I do?
If you wish to contact me about this, I can be reached at notyourfriend.gjp9z_at_ncf.ca