You can't win, you twerp!
September 30, 2008 7:07 PM Subscribe
Help me resolve a Catch-22 about meeting new people of the opposite sex.
posted by anonymous to human relations (46 answers total) 28 users marked this as a favorite
I almost never work up the nerve to talk to a girl standing near me at a bookstore or coffee shop. That's bad enough. After talking to a lot of people (friends, and even a few MeFites!), I discover a surprisingly common theme: people alone in public places don't want to be confronted by strangers. They don't want their book and coffee and 'me time' to be ruined by people like me trying to make small talk.
As I see it, then, the very foundation of meeting new people (get out of the apartment and do something, you twerp!) is a paradox (I'm trying to read my book in peace, you twerp!).
Is this an accurate sentiment? If so, how do I get over the anxiety it produces? It boils down to wanting to be not bothersome first, and a good conversationalist second: I certainly don't want to bother people if they don't want to be talked to, but I honestly can't distinguish the receptive from the hostile.