Women does pickup work on you?
February 26, 2012 6:17 PM Subscribe
Does picking up women outside of bars and clubs work? A woman's opinion is appreciated.
posted by curious-mind to Human Relations (93 answers total) 17 users marked this as a favorite
I just saw an interesting video that shows a group of guys approaching women on the street using rap lyrics as a part of their routine and having a degree of success.
Simply stated I was astonished to see it working and wondered if it was something that I should start doing.
Women if you've ever been approached on the street, the library or bookstore etc where the guy was respectful, honest and made you laugh and later called you up for a date, would you give him a chance?
After reading some askmefi responses my conclusion is that women generally are afraid of random men and this kind of thing wouldn't work in my favor.
I once saw a really good looking guy, tall, try and approach a woman on a subway and she shut him down when it was clear she was out of his league.
Now if a guy (me) was looking to meet some women to date would you say it would be a safer bet to try something that was along the lines of friends of friends, meetup groups, online dating?
Im 25 btw, living in ny, college graduated.
Im asking this question because I fail miserably at any "pickup type" of place that doesn't provide a conversation starter. College class was easy you could talk about the professor, friends of friends is easier as well you get introduced, meetup groups might be easier you get to talk about camping or hiking or w.e.
I fail miserably at pickup because at a grocery store or bookstore its tough as you sit there trying to come up with things to say, I feel like you have to be smooth and capture her attention and she might reciprocate if she is attracted to you. However each time the thought of starting conversation at a bookstore or grocery store crosses my mind when I see a pretty girl I get very anxious. I know this since having done it a few times in the past. On top of that you know its a numbers game, some wont find you attractive, some are not single, some days you're mood is off and you're not connecting. So its a lot of work of constantly challenging your anxiety and after being tired from work I really don't have the energy to go grab a coffee and try to chat up a girl and deal with all the anxiety.
The bars and clubs, Ive seen girls and guys hookup, I've never managed to make it happen for myself however. It seems if you just grind a girl some will dance, I've asked maybe 10 girls to dance at a club they all said no, not one yes. Maybe its the way I look, I'm indian btw punjabi to be exact I look middle eastern, with a brownish skin color. Maybe I'm not confident who knows.
I also just find it so hard to talk to people at bars and clubs because they are so loud and I feel like I'm competing with other guys.Ive manged to get a few numbers but they all turn out to not respond.
So does pickup work for getting dates women? Or do the majority of you meet men through your social circles, hobbies online etc