What's the deal with online sexual blackmail of adults?
November 1, 2023 1:35 PM Subscribe
I'm interested in investigative journalism, podcasts, or shorter articles looking at this phenomenon.
Three cases have come up anecdotally in the few years.
1. My wife's brother was told that if he didn't pay a somewhat odd amount of money, like $470 US, then a girl would post a video of him getting a blow job (iirc) on various social media platforms. He was about 26 at the time, lived with his parents, and worked in a retail shop. His dad gave him the money, and as far as I know the problem went away. This was a couple of years ago. He's a horrible misogynist who I think doesnt get much sexual attention. At the time my wife and I assumed that he had treated a woman poorly and she wanted to get back at him and saw this as an opportunity to get some extra cash. This blackmail was in English. This is the only one of these three interactions that may have involved in-person meeting, unless the blackmailer got ahold of the BJ video some other way. I don't know if the brother knew if the video was being taken.
2. My good friend's monogamous boyfriend of 5 years recently told her that he had some kind of sexting affair, and that he was now being blackmailed for it. He chose to deactivate or delete all of his social media rather than pay. The boyfriend claims he would have told my friend anyways but we aren't convinced. He has very little money so again it might have been opportunism on the part of the scam artist/cheating partner. This extortion was in Spanish. My friend's bf is a feminist and generally funny, clever and genuine. A few years ago he had a major career setback for financial and probably depresion/adhd reasons and I think that really effected his self esteem. He has been through some long periods of not wanting to have sex in their relationship but I don't think they're currently in that situation. Maybe some feelings of masculine inadequacy are involved?
3. An acquaintance told me that this happened to his cousin. I don't know much about that situation except that the cousin is a man in the US and I assume it took place in English. I don't know for sure what the orientation of the cousin was. The other two men are straight.
I'm curious about if there are scam rings for this kind of thing, or if it's more likely to be individual blackmailers. I'm also curious if it's actual women involved or catfishing, and what kind of psychological angle might be involved for either party. I don't think anyone in these anecdotes went to law enforcement for help.
My Google searches turned up information about "sexploitation" from the FBI and ICE but didn't really answer my questions. They say usual victims are young boys but everyone I've heard of are men mid 20s-30s.
Obviously it's very embarrassing for the victims so I would assume they wouldn't want to speak out. I'm only interested in adults getting entangled, not youths, and in understanding the motivations for them and scammers besides just being horny. Its unclear to me if the scamers in these scenarios got some kind of sexual satisfaction or if its purely financial. A lot of the info I found was published in the past 6 months. Does this mean that this type of scam is on the rise or getting more attention now, or are my google results just skewing towards recent writing about it?
Three cases have come up anecdotally in the few years.
1. My wife's brother was told that if he didn't pay a somewhat odd amount of money, like $470 US, then a girl would post a video of him getting a blow job (iirc) on various social media platforms. He was about 26 at the time, lived with his parents, and worked in a retail shop. His dad gave him the money, and as far as I know the problem went away. This was a couple of years ago. He's a horrible misogynist who I think doesnt get much sexual attention. At the time my wife and I assumed that he had treated a woman poorly and she wanted to get back at him and saw this as an opportunity to get some extra cash. This blackmail was in English. This is the only one of these three interactions that may have involved in-person meeting, unless the blackmailer got ahold of the BJ video some other way. I don't know if the brother knew if the video was being taken.
2. My good friend's monogamous boyfriend of 5 years recently told her that he had some kind of sexting affair, and that he was now being blackmailed for it. He chose to deactivate or delete all of his social media rather than pay. The boyfriend claims he would have told my friend anyways but we aren't convinced. He has very little money so again it might have been opportunism on the part of the scam artist/cheating partner. This extortion was in Spanish. My friend's bf is a feminist and generally funny, clever and genuine. A few years ago he had a major career setback for financial and probably depresion/adhd reasons and I think that really effected his self esteem. He has been through some long periods of not wanting to have sex in their relationship but I don't think they're currently in that situation. Maybe some feelings of masculine inadequacy are involved?
3. An acquaintance told me that this happened to his cousin. I don't know much about that situation except that the cousin is a man in the US and I assume it took place in English. I don't know for sure what the orientation of the cousin was. The other two men are straight.
I'm curious about if there are scam rings for this kind of thing, or if it's more likely to be individual blackmailers. I'm also curious if it's actual women involved or catfishing, and what kind of psychological angle might be involved for either party. I don't think anyone in these anecdotes went to law enforcement for help.
My Google searches turned up information about "sexploitation" from the FBI and ICE but didn't really answer my questions. They say usual victims are young boys but everyone I've heard of are men mid 20s-30s.
Obviously it's very embarrassing for the victims so I would assume they wouldn't want to speak out. I'm only interested in adults getting entangled, not youths, and in understanding the motivations for them and scammers besides just being horny. Its unclear to me if the scamers in these scenarios got some kind of sexual satisfaction or if its purely financial. A lot of the info I found was published in the past 6 months. Does this mean that this type of scam is on the rise or getting more attention now, or are my google results just skewing towards recent writing about it?
do these guys have reason to believe the threatened-to-be-released material was real?
a family member told me he got an email demanding that he pay [some amount of money somehow] or they would do something like mail all his porn to his contacts, something like that... he ignored it and nothing happened.
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:43 PM on November 1, 2023 [8 favorites]
a family member told me he got an email demanding that he pay [some amount of money somehow] or they would do something like mail all his porn to his contacts, something like that... he ignored it and nothing happened.
posted by fingersandtoes at 1:43 PM on November 1, 2023 [8 favorites]
do these guys have reason to believe the threatened-to-be-released material was real?
Yes, I'm sure individual cases of actual blackmail do exist, but this is a well-known bulk scam. I myself have experienced attempted extortion over alleged material of having my non-existent penis attended to in various ways by people not my partner.
posted by praemunire at 1:50 PM on November 1, 2023 [19 favorites]
Yes, I'm sure individual cases of actual blackmail do exist, but this is a well-known bulk scam. I myself have experienced attempted extortion over alleged material of having my non-existent penis attended to in various ways by people not my partner.
posted by praemunire at 1:50 PM on November 1, 2023 [19 favorites]
There is a whole subreddit that’s a support group for victims of this scam.
posted by Seeking Direction at 2:27 PM on November 1, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by Seeking Direction at 2:27 PM on November 1, 2023 [3 favorites]
These are generally referred to as pig butchering scams. Here is the first link on google explaining it, there are many many more resources if you search that term. You can also read at least a story per day on the scams subreddit.
The motivation is purely financial.
posted by phunniemee at 2:31 PM on November 1, 2023 [4 favorites]
The motivation is purely financial.
posted by phunniemee at 2:31 PM on November 1, 2023 [4 favorites]
This is not pig butchering, which is when people try to get you to buy cryptocurrencies on fake websites that steal your money instead of actually buying the currency.
Its definitely a real thing, here's an article, the CEO of AMC was caught up in one, as with all blackmail real rates of it happening are likely higher due to reluctance to report.
posted by hermanubis at 2:42 PM on November 1, 2023 [1 favorite]
Its definitely a real thing, here's an article, the CEO of AMC was caught up in one, as with all blackmail real rates of it happening are likely higher due to reluctance to report.
posted by hermanubis at 2:42 PM on November 1, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: In WaPo just a few weeks ago (gift article).
posted by Melismata at 3:05 PM on November 1, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Melismata at 3:05 PM on November 1, 2023 [2 favorites]
That's not pig butchering, but sextortion.
I happen to be quite active on the /r/cybersecurity_help and /r/scams subreddits on Reddit and I run into sob stories related to this all the time.
The story invariably goes like this:
1) The bait -- some girl on Craigslist or dating website matches with our victim, invariably male, and within a few chats convos (asks for offline contact too, phone or email or FB), then asks for a dick pic. And our red-blooded male, young and naive, sends one.
2) The setup -- the other side switches to an "angry parent" or "uncle" who claims the girl's underage, and the victim has committed some sexual crime, and unless a hush money is paid there will be consequences, such as the pic sent to all his FB friends or such. The other side may also include a "cop", "more angry relatives" who threaten to dox the victim until he coughs up the money, payable usually via gift cards, Western Union, or crypto, probably crypto via a Bitcoin ATM.
You get the idea.
posted by kschang at 3:45 PM on November 1, 2023 [15 favorites]
I happen to be quite active on the /r/cybersecurity_help and /r/scams subreddits on Reddit and I run into sob stories related to this all the time.
The story invariably goes like this:
1) The bait -- some girl on Craigslist or dating website matches with our victim, invariably male, and within a few chats convos (asks for offline contact too, phone or email or FB), then asks for a dick pic. And our red-blooded male, young and naive, sends one.
2) The setup -- the other side switches to an "angry parent" or "uncle" who claims the girl's underage, and the victim has committed some sexual crime, and unless a hush money is paid there will be consequences, such as the pic sent to all his FB friends or such. The other side may also include a "cop", "more angry relatives" who threaten to dox the victim until he coughs up the money, payable usually via gift cards, Western Union, or crypto, probably crypto via a Bitcoin ATM.
You get the idea.
posted by kschang at 3:45 PM on November 1, 2023 [15 favorites]
I think there are other, less targeted (and less sophisticated) variants than what kschang describes. It hasn't happened to me yet, but several friends have shown me screenshots of extortion attempts that basically go:
I have an unspecified and vaguely described embarrassing video of you; I got it by hacking your device and accessing your files, recording you with your own webcam, signing in your social media, or from an unspecified former boyfriend or girlfriend. If you don't send me (usually a fairly small sum of money), I will reveal it to your current partner, post it to one of your accounts, or alert your employer of its existence. Here's how you can pay me.
In all of these cases, the video simply doesn't exist, and the device almost certainly wasn't hacked. The scammer is depending the fact that in the year of our lord 2023 lots of people really do have embarrassing sex videos out there somewhere, or on their laptop or phone, or at some point have done something sexual in front of an assumed-to-be-off webcam. The description is vague enough that it's certainly possible it could be describing a real thing; the mark's imagination is left to fill in the rest.
I assume if you blast out enough of these messages you eventually get someone naive and jumpy enough that they just send you the money.
posted by pullayup at 4:18 PM on November 1, 2023 [10 favorites]
I have an unspecified and vaguely described embarrassing video of you; I got it by hacking your device and accessing your files, recording you with your own webcam, signing in your social media, or from an unspecified former boyfriend or girlfriend. If you don't send me (usually a fairly small sum of money), I will reveal it to your current partner, post it to one of your accounts, or alert your employer of its existence. Here's how you can pay me.
In all of these cases, the video simply doesn't exist, and the device almost certainly wasn't hacked. The scammer is depending the fact that in the year of our lord 2023 lots of people really do have embarrassing sex videos out there somewhere, or on their laptop or phone, or at some point have done something sexual in front of an assumed-to-be-off webcam. The description is vague enough that it's certainly possible it could be describing a real thing; the mark's imagination is left to fill in the rest.
I assume if you blast out enough of these messages you eventually get someone naive and jumpy enough that they just send you the money.
posted by pullayup at 4:18 PM on November 1, 2023 [10 favorites]
This isn't just directed at young men, though perhaps young and lonely men are more vulnerable. An early 50s male friend of mine connected and chatted with a person on Feeld, and she attempted to blackmail him by saying she'd share copies of his explicit photos (or whatever he shared) with people at his company. My friend happens to not care at all about this sort of thing and ignored it and told her no, and nothing actually happened. I think these scams are preying on men who are (allegedly) monogamous or excited to be texting with a conventionally attractive woman. Like any kind of phishing, it doesn't have to be successful all that often in order to be worth the time for people who are casting a wide net.
posted by bluedaisy at 4:26 PM on November 1, 2023
posted by bluedaisy at 4:26 PM on November 1, 2023
When I was in my 60s (yes, I'm old af), I received 2 emails stating essentially that my computer had been hacked, they had all my embarrassing emails and videos, they knew I am married and to whom, and threatened to convey the data to my wife unless I paid them something like 5 grand worth of bitcoin. I showed both to my wife immediately. Nothing happened.
More recently I've been randomly texted from the great beyond, and messaged twice on LinkedIn (who knew LinkedIn was good for anything), in all cases by a "woman" who introduced herself, put up a picture of an attractive Asian woman, said she was 34, likes to make new friends, and as it happened would be flying into the major airport near me later in the month and maybe we could catch dinner. I ignored these and they stopped, but I suspect had I engaged, I might have been drawn into one of these sextortion deals. Either that or someone was testing me to see if I am as squeaky clean as I portray myself to be. That's a thing right now too, with as I understand it, services actually offering this to suspicious spouses.
Stay tight, friends.
posted by charris5005 at 5:56 PM on November 1, 2023 [1 favorite]
More recently I've been randomly texted from the great beyond, and messaged twice on LinkedIn (who knew LinkedIn was good for anything), in all cases by a "woman" who introduced herself, put up a picture of an attractive Asian woman, said she was 34, likes to make new friends, and as it happened would be flying into the major airport near me later in the month and maybe we could catch dinner. I ignored these and they stopped, but I suspect had I engaged, I might have been drawn into one of these sextortion deals. Either that or someone was testing me to see if I am as squeaky clean as I portray myself to be. That's a thing right now too, with as I understand it, services actually offering this to suspicious spouses.
Stay tight, friends.
posted by charris5005 at 5:56 PM on November 1, 2023 [1 favorite]
For OP, FBI stats are, shall we say, a bit sobering. According to a June 2023 article, 12 minors hit by sextortion scam committed suicide in 2022, and over 7000 minor victims.
FWIW, most of these scammers are NOT in the US. They usually operate through a VOIP number (such as Google Voice), which gives them a US phone number. And they usually work on SEVERAL victims at a time.
posted by kschang at 1:07 AM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
FWIW, most of these scammers are NOT in the US. They usually operate through a VOIP number (such as Google Voice), which gives them a US phone number. And they usually work on SEVERAL victims at a time.
posted by kschang at 1:07 AM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
Oh, another thing. in 2023 there's a new variant... AI generated "porn" images and/or videos with the victim's faces.
posted by kschang at 1:14 AM on November 2, 2023
posted by kschang at 1:14 AM on November 2, 2023
It does happen in real life - we had recent cases of extortion by prior sex partners or friends who’d gotten the leaked videos. But those people are known to the victim somewhat and often the demands were more explicit videos and sex, not money. The scam emails are very very common, and anonymous or at least not an IRL contact.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 1:19 AM on November 2, 2023
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 1:19 AM on November 2, 2023
Response by poster: Thanks everyone, the wapo article was especially helpful and the use of AI is a horrible new twist that hadn't occurred to me. The cases I know of are definitely sexploitation, not pig butchering.
For clarification, I am sure that at least in the first two anecdotes the scammers did recieve actual sexual content from their victims. Im not sure but I believe that the first one included material from an actual in-person meetup, which deviates from the online narratives. I'm familiar with the phenomenon of fishing for people with guilty consciences via vague threat with unspecified material but the process of engaging them in sending actual content was new to me.
posted by Summers at 4:28 AM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
For clarification, I am sure that at least in the first two anecdotes the scammers did recieve actual sexual content from their victims. Im not sure but I believe that the first one included material from an actual in-person meetup, which deviates from the online narratives. I'm familiar with the phenomenon of fishing for people with guilty consciences via vague threat with unspecified material but the process of engaging them in sending actual content was new to me.
posted by Summers at 4:28 AM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Here's a selection of BBC stories on sextortion including news stories, more reflective pieces, and podcasts.
posted by plonkee at 6:57 AM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by plonkee at 6:57 AM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
This happened to some soldiers I knew - they would be contacted by attractive women who would video sex them and ask them to masturbate on camera, then once they had done so, the scammer would claim they had video and would send it to their monogamous partners if they didn’t send money. I think it’s a broader scam than there is awareness; the victims rarely contact law enforcement.
posted by corb at 9:46 AM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by corb at 9:46 AM on November 2, 2023 [1 favorite]
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Which almost certainly was divisible by the contemporary exchange rate of whatever cryptocurrency the scammer demanded to be paid in.
posted by zamboni at 1:40 PM on November 1, 2023 [2 favorites]