How do I make new friends during a pandemic?

July 24, 2020 4:23 PM

I haven't seen anyone I know in over a week. I have several friends...all too busy or afraid to get together very often or even to call. Also, unemployed until October. I live in a rural area where it's very difficult to meet people...that "leave me alone" vibe is big out here. Where online can I possibly talk to people and try to make friends? Anyone who is in a situation like mine and has advice?
posted by DixieBaby to Human Relations (9 answers total)

What hobbies and interests do you have? I find that online communities around those interests can be good sources for interaction and occasionally friendship. I myself am big into growing houseplants, for instance, and am a member of two specialty forums for it as well as a handful of subreddits. I also recommend Twitch as I think the live chat feature is quite interactive, and there are a variety of streaming subjects/focuses.

I do think friends are harder to get together with nowadays, but I do have one friend who likes going on bike rides with me at a local nature trail twice a week. It checks off both exercise and relatively distanced social interaction (we talk the whole time but biking is naturally several feet apart), so we like that it is multi-purpose and fairly safe. I don't know if you have any friends who you can propose a similar type of outing with?
posted by vegartanipla at 5:47 PM on July 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

Yeah, I'd say online activities are the way to go. Chat areas, MeFi, discussion threads, hobby sites, whatever you're into. I met two new good friends recently by doing online theater.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:53 PM on July 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

hmm, I feel you.... I'd be glad to chat .. I like calling people (miss that part of the 90s!) I was thinking of asking metafilter a similar question to yours... there are a million online get togethers nowadays but it's almost a dizzying amount of choice!
posted by elgee at 8:39 PM on July 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

I'm struggling to come up with good suggestions at the moment, probably because I'm struggling in ways similar to what you posted about. I will say however, I think that it's great you posted, and I'm glad you did. (Thank you.) Funny timing: within the same hour previous to seeing your post, I'd come across the following article. Relevant. There are a couple links here that may give you ideas.

https://qz.com/1382693/what-causes-loneliness/

Keep reaching out... like you just did!
posted by armoir from antproof case at 8:56 PM on July 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

I had some success a few months ago with LunchClub.AI randomly pairing me with like minded people around the world.
posted by knile at 9:13 PM on July 24, 2020 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Hey, I'm overdue to organize an online discussion group meeting or screenplay reading to scratch exactly that itch. Drop me a memail and I'll be sure to invite you, or anyone else on here who might be interested, to the next one.
posted by Violet Blue at 10:33 PM on July 24, 2020 [2 favorites]

I’m maybe the only person who has made new friends in the pandemic! I decided to volunteer at a local organic farm and have met some great people. See if there are any WWOOF hosts in your area if that is at all appealing to you. You could go for a short stay or just do one day a week. I’m sure there would be other volunteering opportunities near you that suit your interests- conservation? Dog shelter? Soup kitchen/food bank?

I’m also meeting people online. If you happen to be queer and/or trans the Lex app is text based and is a good place for conversations, but you could maybe just strike up conversations with people on more conventional dating apps.

(I also live in a rural area, so it can be done outside of cities!)
posted by Balthamos at 11:37 PM on July 24, 2020 [4 favorites]

I tried a few things like online support groups over Zoom or Skype, got sliding scale counselling over Skype, had a go at Spanish lessons online too. It was a bit hit and miss but all worth trying. I couldn't really say I made any friends with any of those options but the closest one was the support group where I already knew a few people from when they had in-person meets before Covid. Things that are too expensive might be OK to combat loneliness in the short term but are necessarily sustainable if your financial situation changed.

If you feel you could do journaling at all then now is also a good time to work on your relationship with yourself.
posted by AuroraSky at 3:18 AM on July 25, 2020

My local library has been offering weekly writer's groups, book clubs, etc online for most of the pandemic here in the UK. You've said you're in a rural area but if there's a library in your area or even if it's a library in a bigger city further away, as long as you have reliable Internet access, you could join groups like that?

This is not online but I've been receiving snail mail letters through International Pen Friends and it's a fun way to meet new people if you enjoy writing letters by hand. It can take a few weeks for your application form to be processed, but I really recommend this service if the cost of postage is not too much of a burden. I've signed up twice now and have had some interesting exchanges! It's exciting to get mail that isn't junk or bills, too.
posted by quadrant seasons at 10:41 AM on July 25, 2020