Restoring urban cycling confidence after a minor accident
August 4, 2023 8:47 AM Subscribe
A few months ago I had a minor accident while I was bicycling to work in the city. I wasn't injured aside from a few scrapes and bruises and I was never in any serious danger. Ordinarily I would just brush it off as no big deal, but maybe due to the specific nature of the accident I am still extremely nervous and jittery when riding.
I feel like I have landed in a Calvin and Hobbes attack of the killer bicycle comic. It's unpleasant, and being this over-reactive or erratic is also unsafe. How can I get over this?
The accident was due to an unseen environmental hazard (two other people got caught by it right after me). It was not caused by an error on my part or by dangerous behavior from another road user, just bad luck. My bicycle is mechanically sound and suitable for the environment, and I have taken the same route many times before in different conditions. I feel a bit ridiculous about this and would like to return to not being terrified by my everyday commuting and errand-running.
What I have tried so far:
- Riding at off-peak hours so I can take my time without disrupting others
- Avoiding terrain that is similar to where the accident occurred (impractical since it's common in the area)
- Trying to ride for short periods of time on similar terrain or in the actual accident location, basically a form of exposure therapy (obviously not effective yet)
Challenges:
- Cycling conditions are okay but not great in my city. I live in a dense neighborhood and there are plenty of hazards from slippery and uneven surfaces, traffic, awkward mixed-use areas, and bad weather.
- I don't have a car or other easy means of accessing a place like a big empty parking lot or similar quiet location for practicing
The accident was due to an unseen environmental hazard (two other people got caught by it right after me). It was not caused by an error on my part or by dangerous behavior from another road user, just bad luck. My bicycle is mechanically sound and suitable for the environment, and I have taken the same route many times before in different conditions. I feel a bit ridiculous about this and would like to return to not being terrified by my everyday commuting and errand-running.
What I have tried so far:
- Riding at off-peak hours so I can take my time without disrupting others
- Avoiding terrain that is similar to where the accident occurred (impractical since it's common in the area)
- Trying to ride for short periods of time on similar terrain or in the actual accident location, basically a form of exposure therapy (obviously not effective yet)
Challenges:
- Cycling conditions are okay but not great in my city. I live in a dense neighborhood and there are plenty of hazards from slippery and uneven surfaces, traffic, awkward mixed-use areas, and bad weather.
- I don't have a car or other easy means of accessing a place like a big empty parking lot or similar quiet location for practicing
You could work with a therapist to do exposure therapy for real. The difference between trying to figure out how to do this properly yourself and of doing it with expert support cannot be overstated. Real exposure therapy has a protocol and can be very effective. It works well for situations like the one you're in.
posted by twelve cent archie at 9:23 AM on August 4, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by twelve cent archie at 9:23 AM on August 4, 2023 [4 favorites]
You could work with a therapist who does EMDR or hypnosis which are perfect techniques for a one time scare (it does other things too but is ideal for this situation). Some other therapy techniques may be used along side it. I hope you find your bike legs again!
posted by mutt.cyberspace at 9:35 AM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by mutt.cyberspace at 9:35 AM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
How can I get over this?
Same way any of us ever gets over anything. Gradually.
Trying to ride for short periods of time on similar terrain or in the actual accident location
is the thing you've tried that I would rate as having the best chance of success, with persistence. But rather than going at it mainly with the hope that it will work as exposure therapy, I recommend adjusting your main intent so that what you're deliberately trying to do is improve your skill at remaining in control of your bike on this kind of terrain. That way, you'll be judging your success on the basis of how physically stable you can get the bike to be, not on the state of your own emotions.
Just don't expect a quick fix, and I think you'll find that time and practice will allow the well of confidence to refill itself.
I'm giving you this advice on the basis of my own relationship with wet tram tracks after having come to grief on them twice in one night, both times landing with the enormous bunch of keys in my left front pocket smashed between my thighbone and the road. Ended up with a softball-sized hematoma that stopped me walking for two weeks. It took me at least a year to get over being shitscared of tram tracks after that, but I also ended up teaching myself many safer ways to approach and encounter them than I'd had in my riding repertoire before those falls.
posted by flabdablet at 9:40 AM on August 4, 2023 [6 favorites]
Same way any of us ever gets over anything. Gradually.
Trying to ride for short periods of time on similar terrain or in the actual accident location
is the thing you've tried that I would rate as having the best chance of success, with persistence. But rather than going at it mainly with the hope that it will work as exposure therapy, I recommend adjusting your main intent so that what you're deliberately trying to do is improve your skill at remaining in control of your bike on this kind of terrain. That way, you'll be judging your success on the basis of how physically stable you can get the bike to be, not on the state of your own emotions.
Just don't expect a quick fix, and I think you'll find that time and practice will allow the well of confidence to refill itself.
I'm giving you this advice on the basis of my own relationship with wet tram tracks after having come to grief on them twice in one night, both times landing with the enormous bunch of keys in my left front pocket smashed between my thighbone and the road. Ended up with a softball-sized hematoma that stopped me walking for two weeks. It took me at least a year to get over being shitscared of tram tracks after that, but I also ended up teaching myself many safer ways to approach and encounter them than I'd had in my riding repertoire before those falls.
posted by flabdablet at 9:40 AM on August 4, 2023 [6 favorites]
It's hard to say based on what you wrote, but two things that help me navigate hazards like potholes, train tracks, grates, rocks etc are:
1. not riding faster than I feel comfortable being able to navigate the those hazards (or careless drivers)
2. beefy tires with a little bit of tread (for me that is 650b x 38)
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 9:55 AM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
1. not riding faster than I feel comfortable being able to navigate the those hazards (or careless drivers)
2. beefy tires with a little bit of tread (for me that is 650b x 38)
posted by mandymanwasregistered at 9:55 AM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
I recommend adjusting your main intent so that what you're deliberately trying to do is improve your skill at remaining in control of your bike on this kind of terrain.
This is what I recommend too - I bike in the winter in a snowy, icy city and have had some falls that were environmentally-caused and I was fine from that made me nervous. In one case, it was this type of pavement my city has put on this one section I ride on every day that is essentially a slippery marble-like rock that is TERRIBLE in the snow and ice (what are they thinking). What I have really focused on is testing out riding my bike on this surface to figure out what it is that I can and can't get away with when riding over it; I also extend this to different maybe-slippery surfaces I could ride on, to really get a feel for my terrain.
You could also do some advocacy, either with the local cycling advocacy group or directly with your city government to help remove that type of hazard if it's common, like putting down some kind of grippy tape or avoiding future installation, and helping to improve infrastructure in your city in general. It's a slow-going process but rewarding when you see improvements.
Good luck! Hopefully you reclaim your confidence soon.
posted by urbanlenny at 10:17 AM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
This is what I recommend too - I bike in the winter in a snowy, icy city and have had some falls that were environmentally-caused and I was fine from that made me nervous. In one case, it was this type of pavement my city has put on this one section I ride on every day that is essentially a slippery marble-like rock that is TERRIBLE in the snow and ice (what are they thinking). What I have really focused on is testing out riding my bike on this surface to figure out what it is that I can and can't get away with when riding over it; I also extend this to different maybe-slippery surfaces I could ride on, to really get a feel for my terrain.
You could also do some advocacy, either with the local cycling advocacy group or directly with your city government to help remove that type of hazard if it's common, like putting down some kind of grippy tape or avoiding future installation, and helping to improve infrastructure in your city in general. It's a slow-going process but rewarding when you see improvements.
Good luck! Hopefully you reclaim your confidence soon.
posted by urbanlenny at 10:17 AM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
This isn't a bike problem. It's a brain problem. I have the same problem, and I'm going to keep it. I have every confidence you will not keep yours.
It looks like I had a more-than-usual number of these kinds of accidents while I was trying to learn bicycles as a kid and that's why--or part of why--the idea of bicycling has always filled me with unmanageable terror. It was like most of the time something bad happened, whereas for most people it seems like, okay, sure, accidents happen a lot of the time but not most of the time. More of the time an accident doesn't happen.
They didn't get me a bike until I was ten or eleven and I only kept trying to learn actively for a year or two and not often, given that I kept getting hurt. Even with pretty low levels of exposure, I managed to have two of the type of accident where you fly over the handlebars unexpectedly, once from hitting a patch of soft sand and once when I squeezed the front brakes instead of the rear brakes. (Why do they make front brakes?)
In addition to all the accidents, when they got me a ten-speed there was a lot of parental yelling about how to shift gears of a genre similar to all the parental yelling about the times tables and fractions and balancing equations that created my math anxiety. (Why do they want me to ride a bicycle when I'm clearly too stupid?)
Then there were the problems getting on and off bikes that were too big for me and tipping over and crashing to the ground. (Why do they want me to ride a bicycle when bicycles are lethal killing machines that want me to suffer and die?)
Then there was the whole being unable to figure out how to steer and thus running into things. Things like stationary cars and innocent people trying to teach me how to ride a bicycle. (Why do they want me to ride a bicycle when my terror of bicycles and resentment over being asked to ride them brings out dangerous sociopathic tendencies?)
So many unanswered questions...
Anyway, I never learned to ride a bike, have no desire to learn to ride a bike, and will do zero work to acquire a desire to ride a bike: I'm fine with this phobia and intend to keep it. That you did learn to ride despite the inherent risk seems promising. Your fear is really recent and confined to a small and therefore probably more manageable aspect of bike riding, and that also seems like a good thing. Best of all, you are not fine with this fear and do not want to keep it and are determined to do work to lose it. This article has some pretty smart ideas: https://www.bicycling.com/training/g20048677/take-these-6-steps-to-overcome-your-fear-of-crashing/
posted by Don Pepino at 10:34 AM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
It looks like I had a more-than-usual number of these kinds of accidents while I was trying to learn bicycles as a kid and that's why--or part of why--the idea of bicycling has always filled me with unmanageable terror. It was like most of the time something bad happened, whereas for most people it seems like, okay, sure, accidents happen a lot of the time but not most of the time. More of the time an accident doesn't happen.
They didn't get me a bike until I was ten or eleven and I only kept trying to learn actively for a year or two and not often, given that I kept getting hurt. Even with pretty low levels of exposure, I managed to have two of the type of accident where you fly over the handlebars unexpectedly, once from hitting a patch of soft sand and once when I squeezed the front brakes instead of the rear brakes. (Why do they make front brakes?)
In addition to all the accidents, when they got me a ten-speed there was a lot of parental yelling about how to shift gears of a genre similar to all the parental yelling about the times tables and fractions and balancing equations that created my math anxiety. (Why do they want me to ride a bicycle when I'm clearly too stupid?)
Then there were the problems getting on and off bikes that were too big for me and tipping over and crashing to the ground. (Why do they want me to ride a bicycle when bicycles are lethal killing machines that want me to suffer and die?)
Then there was the whole being unable to figure out how to steer and thus running into things. Things like stationary cars and innocent people trying to teach me how to ride a bicycle. (Why do they want me to ride a bicycle when my terror of bicycles and resentment over being asked to ride them brings out dangerous sociopathic tendencies?)
So many unanswered questions...
Anyway, I never learned to ride a bike, have no desire to learn to ride a bike, and will do zero work to acquire a desire to ride a bike: I'm fine with this phobia and intend to keep it. That you did learn to ride despite the inherent risk seems promising. Your fear is really recent and confined to a small and therefore probably more manageable aspect of bike riding, and that also seems like a good thing. Best of all, you are not fine with this fear and do not want to keep it and are determined to do work to lose it. This article has some pretty smart ideas: https://www.bicycling.com/training/g20048677/take-these-6-steps-to-overcome-your-fear-of-crashing/
posted by Don Pepino at 10:34 AM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
The accident was due to an unseen environmental hazard (two other people got caught by it right after me). It was not caused by an error on my part or by dangerous behavior from another road user, just bad luck.
I have never previously read a question about a bicycle accident, or indeed any description of something that happened while riding a bicycle at all, which was phrased in such abstract, non-specific, even euphemistic terms — as if what happened to you was so shameful as to be literally unspeakable.
I think you should see a therapist if you can, and focus on why what sounds like a very ordinary event has precipitated this kind of reaction.
posted by jamjam at 11:04 AM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
I have never previously read a question about a bicycle accident, or indeed any description of something that happened while riding a bicycle at all, which was phrased in such abstract, non-specific, even euphemistic terms — as if what happened to you was so shameful as to be literally unspeakable.
I think you should see a therapist if you can, and focus on why what sounds like a very ordinary event has precipitated this kind of reaction.
posted by jamjam at 11:04 AM on August 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
You now know that your environment poses risks to cycling that you were previously unaware of - I'd say some adjustment would seem in order.
When I got doored once (not my fault), my approach to cycling absolutely changed - I stopped riding door distance from parked cars whenever possible. I don't know what happened to you here, but maybe whatever happened to you is a sign to not go as fast as humanely possible.
You can't solve bad luck, but you can make some changes to mitigate the results of that bad luck. Doing what I could to prevent a future accident always helped me feel more confident after a cycling accident.
posted by coffeecat at 12:02 PM on August 4, 2023
When I got doored once (not my fault), my approach to cycling absolutely changed - I stopped riding door distance from parked cars whenever possible. I don't know what happened to you here, but maybe whatever happened to you is a sign to not go as fast as humanely possible.
You can't solve bad luck, but you can make some changes to mitigate the results of that bad luck. Doing what I could to prevent a future accident always helped me feel more confident after a cycling accident.
posted by coffeecat at 12:02 PM on August 4, 2023
Agree with working with a therapist on exposure therapy, which I've found much more productive than attempting to do it by myself.
But also: having had a similar kind of bike crash - slipping on loose gravel at a relatively slow and safe speed, which resulted in a broken ankle - one unexpected thing that helped a bit was returning to the scene of the accident with a friend and performing a kind of ceremony to mark the site. She read a kind of declaration/poem condemning the site and then we took selfies flipping it off.
It's kind of a goofy gesture, but it also had some catharsis that helped a little in regaining my confidence, especially since it was largely a fluke - I was riding carefully but just hit a bad patch at the wrong angle.
posted by Ms. Toad at 12:08 PM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
But also: having had a similar kind of bike crash - slipping on loose gravel at a relatively slow and safe speed, which resulted in a broken ankle - one unexpected thing that helped a bit was returning to the scene of the accident with a friend and performing a kind of ceremony to mark the site. She read a kind of declaration/poem condemning the site and then we took selfies flipping it off.
It's kind of a goofy gesture, but it also had some catharsis that helped a little in regaining my confidence, especially since it was largely a fluke - I was riding carefully but just hit a bad patch at the wrong angle.
posted by Ms. Toad at 12:08 PM on August 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
When I experience a traumatic event the thing that is most helpful for me to move forward is to purposefully focus on everything I did RIGHT.
It works best if I do it in the immediate aftermath but is still helpful even later.
I used to be very worried about having mechanical issues with my vehicle while driving and am generally an inexperienced and inexpert driver. And then, it happened. As such things do.
But I did a lot of things right - even though it shook me up. I signaled and then remembered to put on my hazards. I found a spot to pull over. I called to cancel the appointment I was going to. Then I called for assistance.
As soon as everything was as handled as it could be I started going through all the correct steps I’d taken. When I spoke to my husband about it later, I reinforced that. And every time I think about the incident or get concerned about something similar happening, I think about how well I handled it.
So - I bet you did so many things right when this incident occurred. Like, maybe you were wearing a helmet and that protected you! Or you did something specific on your bike that limited the amount of damage, or some other thing. Can you review all your right steps? It may help you the way it does me.
posted by hilaryjade at 12:28 PM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
It works best if I do it in the immediate aftermath but is still helpful even later.
I used to be very worried about having mechanical issues with my vehicle while driving and am generally an inexperienced and inexpert driver. And then, it happened. As such things do.
But I did a lot of things right - even though it shook me up. I signaled and then remembered to put on my hazards. I found a spot to pull over. I called to cancel the appointment I was going to. Then I called for assistance.
As soon as everything was as handled as it could be I started going through all the correct steps I’d taken. When I spoke to my husband about it later, I reinforced that. And every time I think about the incident or get concerned about something similar happening, I think about how well I handled it.
So - I bet you did so many things right when this incident occurred. Like, maybe you were wearing a helmet and that protected you! Or you did something specific on your bike that limited the amount of damage, or some other thing. Can you review all your right steps? It may help you the way it does me.
posted by hilaryjade at 12:28 PM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
I ride my bikes all the time and have also had a few of my own crashes, including two that involved ambulance rides and left me with minor scars, and one specifically related to infrastructure, which is to say, railroad tracks. I also know lots of folks who have gotten hurt on their bikes while commuting, so I have lots of ways of trying to keep myself protected and as safe as can be.
A few things that I'm cautious about that helped me feel okay about riding:
First, being careful around railroad tracks. Obvious, right? Except I didn't know to do that originally. For many years after that railroad tracks crash 20 years ago, I only ever crossed tracks completely perpendicular. I would get off my bike and walk across if the pavement was uneven around the tracks or I couldn't line up right. I am still cautious on tracks when it's rainy or when the pavement is uneven or if I'm on a bike with super skinny tires.
I am similarly cautious about door zones and possible right hooks. I always presume a car to my left might turn right, right into my path, even if they haven't signaled and even in my mostly bike-familiar town.
I never bike when the temperature is freezing or below. It needs to be a degree or two above. I know so many skilled bicyclists who have slipped on black ice and been injured. If I'm biking and there's ice, I get off and walk. It's always okay to do that.
And I say all this as someone who is also a pretty comfortable and confident city bicyclist, willing to ride in car lanes and so on, and who is on a bike more days than not. It's okay to be cautious, and that doesn't mean you'll be in other people's way.
But you know what else really helped? Riding on a mountain bike with big chunky tires. I took a mountain bike skills class and had a day where I rode a rental mountain bike over all sorts of obstacles. It was incredibly empowering because I could ride over just about any surface without care, and I was practicing this all well away from cars. That might not be an option for you, but if you can somehow take a mountain bike skills class, you might find it quite freeing and your confidence will transfer back to your main bike.
Also, is it possible to slightly alter your route for a while? I think it would be great to have less exposure to the specific place and more riding in general that's not as stressful.
posted by bluedaisy at 3:24 PM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
A few things that I'm cautious about that helped me feel okay about riding:
First, being careful around railroad tracks. Obvious, right? Except I didn't know to do that originally. For many years after that railroad tracks crash 20 years ago, I only ever crossed tracks completely perpendicular. I would get off my bike and walk across if the pavement was uneven around the tracks or I couldn't line up right. I am still cautious on tracks when it's rainy or when the pavement is uneven or if I'm on a bike with super skinny tires.
I am similarly cautious about door zones and possible right hooks. I always presume a car to my left might turn right, right into my path, even if they haven't signaled and even in my mostly bike-familiar town.
I never bike when the temperature is freezing or below. It needs to be a degree or two above. I know so many skilled bicyclists who have slipped on black ice and been injured. If I'm biking and there's ice, I get off and walk. It's always okay to do that.
And I say all this as someone who is also a pretty comfortable and confident city bicyclist, willing to ride in car lanes and so on, and who is on a bike more days than not. It's okay to be cautious, and that doesn't mean you'll be in other people's way.
But you know what else really helped? Riding on a mountain bike with big chunky tires. I took a mountain bike skills class and had a day where I rode a rental mountain bike over all sorts of obstacles. It was incredibly empowering because I could ride over just about any surface without care, and I was practicing this all well away from cars. That might not be an option for you, but if you can somehow take a mountain bike skills class, you might find it quite freeing and your confidence will transfer back to your main bike.
Also, is it possible to slightly alter your route for a while? I think it would be great to have less exposure to the specific place and more riding in general that's not as stressful.
posted by bluedaisy at 3:24 PM on August 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
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if you cycled in
a top quality bicycle helmet
knee pads
elbow pads
a tough fabric that would protect your legs from grazes
so that you can say "if I do fall off my bike in a minor accident with no car involvement, I probably won't get badly hurt" ?
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 9:07 AM on August 4, 2023