Maybe you should talk to someone?

July 4, 2023 5:44 AM

Unfortunately, I moved about a year ago and lost contact with all of my friends. To the point that when I changed phones I lost their numbers. I did not make new friends yet. I’m going through a patch where it would be useful to talk to someone. Is there a paid friend service or something I can use? Assume I’m already trying to use therapy but that’s not sufficient.
posted by Krop Tor to Human Relations (10 answers total)

In your shoes, I would be looking for volunteer opportunities in the community. It will give you an opportunity to do something nice for people while making some human contact.

I always find socializing much easier if we all have a shared job to do.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:20 AM on July 4, 2023 [10 favorites]

I'm sorry you're in this position. Maybe you can use 7 Cups of Tea as an immediate solution? (But please be aware they may have some unsavory practices (eg. sharing notes on the user's mental issues) and that you'll basically be chatting with a barely-trained volunteer.)

Also, if you want to try to get in touch with your old friends, that is what Facebook is for. You can look them up by their name.
posted by gakiko at 6:27 AM on July 4, 2023 [7 favorites]

I just read about "Warmlines" but haven't vetted it or tried it.
posted by cda at 7:09 AM on July 4, 2023

I moved about a year ago and lost contact with all of my friends. To the point that when I changed phones I lost their numbers.

As gakiko mentions, there is Facebook...or if your friends are like mine and have largely abandoned that platform, Instagram, email, LinkedIn, etc. If you Google their name and location you will likely find some type of contact.

Don't be shy about reaching out to a friend you haven't talked to in a year. It's a normal thing to happen when people move.
posted by coffeecat at 7:28 AM on July 4, 2023 [4 favorites]

Response by poster: Sorry to threadsit, but I did just want to rule one thing out: part of the reason I'm feeling this way is because I'm currently housebound, so assume things like volunteering and special interest groups are out unless they can exclusively be done online somehow.
posted by Krop Tor at 7:41 AM on July 4, 2023 [2 favorites]

I’ve found some online book clubs on MeetUp
posted by raccoon409 at 8:24 AM on July 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

Nth’ing finding your old friends and reaching out to them, especially if going out in person to meet new people is not an option. I have definitely done this and while my not everyone has responded, enough people have that I consider it a net win.
posted by 2 cats in the yard at 11:43 AM on July 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

If you are craving human conversation specifically, then I'd suggest volunteering as an online English language conversation partner for people learning English.

Or there are other hobbies that are accessible online from home and are sociable. D&D is a good one, if you can find a beginners group that is friendly. Or other sociable card games like Bridge. If you search a bit you'll find clubs online for live players in similar situations. If you are paying a subscription to join one of the sites, chances are you'll get a better response I guess.
posted by EllaEm at 2:35 PM on July 4, 2023 [1 favorite]

Can you put some time into tracking down alternative contact info for old friends?
posted by bluedaisy at 8:06 AM on July 5, 2023 [1 favorite]

Are you looking to talk to someone specifically about what you're going through? Or are you looking just to talk to someone about anything, just to talk?

If the former, reach out to your old friends! Everyone has been in a weird Covid haze for several years, and it hasn't been at all unusual for me to get an email or FB message from someone I haven't heard from in months or years, saying, "hey, stuff has been hard lately, and then I didn't have your number, but I'd love to catch up some time soon, maybe a phone call or a Zoom date?"

If the latter, I still say reach out to your friends. But if you really don't want to do that, and just want some human contact, what about phonebanking for causes that matter to you? Can be done from home, and it really is helpful to the cause! And opportunities will increase as we get closer to various election seasons.
posted by decathecting at 5:38 PM on July 10, 2023