Stress & anxiety from enforcing boundaries -- need a release!
July 4, 2022 8:01 PM Subscribe
Recently, and all at the same time, several situations have arisen in my work and personal life that are requiring me to set and enforce strong boundaries. This is good and important and necessary growth for me, because I've always had a hard time asserting myself, and I know I'll come out stronger on the other side of this. But in the meantime, I'm miserable and full of anxiety. I need suggestions for ways to release stress so I can get through this!
Staying committed to a boundary, and remaining convinced that I'm doing the right thing, is incredibly draining and anxiety-inducing for me. Dealing with multiple situations at the same time is leaving me exhausted, anxious, and angry almost constantly, which isn't sustainable or healthy. It's especially difficult since my work and personal life are both affected, so I have fewer "safe" areas of my life to draw energy from, and I'm feeling pretty negatively about myself. I expect this current state to continue for another week or two, but after that, the worst will be over. Give me your best suggestions for releasing stress, so I can get some rest and restore my energy to get through this.
I have good support from various friends & family and from my therapist, who have helped me talk through my feelings. I'm single at the moment, so intimate physical touch isn't an option, but I can get hugs from friends.
Things I'm already doing which help:
- Crying
- Strenuous exercise (climbing, boxing, dance) but would happily take suggestions for other forms of exercise
Staying committed to a boundary, and remaining convinced that I'm doing the right thing, is incredibly draining and anxiety-inducing for me. Dealing with multiple situations at the same time is leaving me exhausted, anxious, and angry almost constantly, which isn't sustainable or healthy. It's especially difficult since my work and personal life are both affected, so I have fewer "safe" areas of my life to draw energy from, and I'm feeling pretty negatively about myself. I expect this current state to continue for another week or two, but after that, the worst will be over. Give me your best suggestions for releasing stress, so I can get some rest and restore my energy to get through this.
I have good support from various friends & family and from my therapist, who have helped me talk through my feelings. I'm single at the moment, so intimate physical touch isn't an option, but I can get hugs from friends.
Things I'm already doing which help:
- Crying
- Strenuous exercise (climbing, boxing, dance) but would happily take suggestions for other forms of exercise
Listening to podcasts or audiobooks that reinforce the things you're practicing (some suggestions: the podcast "Feminist Wellness" or any book by Pema Chodron, but if those don't spark interest, just search for key words like "boundaries" "codependency" etc). Even better if you listen while walking through whatever beautiful and/or peaceful nature you can find.
posted by carlypennylane at 9:14 PM on July 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by carlypennylane at 9:14 PM on July 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
seconding @saturdaymornings sound advice for a meditation practice, or, my pref is daily yoga practice. if challenging physical activity isn’t doing it for you, maybe the other end of the spectrum will :)
while not stress relief, i will offer that a leadership coaching podcast i enjoy has its two most recent episodes on boundaries. 219 is how to set boundaries, and 220 is on holding those boundaries. the podcast host is an actor (theatre i think?) so his dramatic way of speaking took some getting used to for me! but he is also a very experienced coach, and i’ve found his podcast amazingly helpful. i hope maybe it could help you too?
good luck! and glad you have a support network to bolster you during this time.
posted by tamarack at 10:06 PM on July 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
while not stress relief, i will offer that a leadership coaching podcast i enjoy has its two most recent episodes on boundaries. 219 is how to set boundaries, and 220 is on holding those boundaries. the podcast host is an actor (theatre i think?) so his dramatic way of speaking took some getting used to for me! but he is also a very experienced coach, and i’ve found his podcast amazingly helpful. i hope maybe it could help you too?
good luck! and glad you have a support network to bolster you during this time.
posted by tamarack at 10:06 PM on July 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
Got any crafty hobbies you’ve neglected a bit, or not-too-challenging DIY that would be satisfying? A project of some kind might help distract you from the Feelings, and provide a nice sense of achievement to reinforce your self-value. Something achievable and self contained though — to avoid the risk of it becoming an obligation.
posted by breakfast burrito at 5:58 AM on July 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by breakfast burrito at 5:58 AM on July 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
In conjunction with the suggestions above, I would focus on what makes me feel safe. I would plan time where I'm not reachable by anyone and can curl up in my bed and read something that makes me happy. Sometimes my anxiety gets worse because I have the feeling that I'm waiting for something to drop on me (a mean message, a phone call, etc.) so shutting off those avenues can be a mental break.
posted by brilliantine at 11:26 AM on July 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by brilliantine at 11:26 AM on July 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
This might not be your thing, but I find drumming to be very cathartic. Hand drumming or drumming with sticks are both awesome. Taiko (Japanese) drumming is especially good for this, because it also involves a full-body and mind workout and you hit really hard.
Kickboxing and various martial arts are also good for relieving stress.
Also dancing - even a 5-minute kitchen dance party is enough to lift my mood.
posted by acridrabbit at 12:34 PM on July 5, 2022
Kickboxing and various martial arts are also good for relieving stress.
Also dancing - even a 5-minute kitchen dance party is enough to lift my mood.
posted by acridrabbit at 12:34 PM on July 5, 2022
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