Liquid soap for those who hate soap

October 20, 2021 8:18 PM

My son has a sensory issue around liquid soaps, sunblocks, creams etc. I know this is not unusual for some kids (and even adults!), and the creams and sunblocks we can work around, but the liquid soap is a no go - he must wash his hands. If you or someone you love has had similar issues with creams, gels and liquid soaps, what have you used for hand washing?
posted by Toddles to Human Relations (33 answers total)

My sink has a bar of my favorite bath soap and I use that to wash my hands. I don't have a problem with liquid soaps, I just like how the bar smells. Soap is soap!
posted by fritley at 8:21 PM on October 20, 2021 [13 favorites]

Foam dispenser.
posted by deludingmyself at 8:23 PM on October 20, 2021 [14 favorites]

It can be helpful to drill down into what exactly the problem is. Can your son communicate this level of nuance in a guided conversation? If he doesn’t have the vocabulary, a few sessions of sensory play to explore things like “sticky” vs “greasy”, “smells bitter” vs “makes me want to sneeze”, “goopy” vs “wet” might really help things along.

I have textural sensory issues but for the most part I’m sensory-seeking and actively wish to do stuff like plunge my hand into vats of pudding or let glue dry on me. Sometimes though, a switch gets flipped. One of my closest friends has the opposite situation where he absolutely hates getting stuff on his hands, and does things like eat Cheetos with chopsticks and has only begrudgingly began to use moisturizer recently despite lifelong dry skin discomfort.

We both agree, though, that the soap dispensers that foam are better all the time. Have you tried the foaming soaps yet? Since they use so much less of the stuff they feel a lot lighter on the skin and wash away faster, but the foam covers a larger area. Plain Dove soap in bar form might also be acceptable enough to start building a hand washing habit, especially if you keep it inside a mesh bag. If you figure out that the problem is that your kid doesn’t like how the soap leaves a residue, you can swap out the soap until you find one that works, or even use a little bit of diluted vinegar after hand washing to get the residue off. If it’s about the goopy quality of the soap before lathering, try the foaming kind, and guide him on how much to actually use (only a little!).

It would be a good idea to model and practice together how to correctly wash your hands, even with just plain water. He can figure out what temperature is best for him, and just getting into the physical habit will be good. Physically rubbing off grime can go a long way even without soap, too. Of course in These Times, soap is necessary, but if it’s just you folks at home it might be a struggle better saved for places without tubs to have bath time in.

If foaming soap doesn’t work for him, you might try taking a vegetable peeler to a bar of plain soap. Use one sliver at a time. You can carry some in a small baggy easily enough. It can sometimes be cool to watch the soap melt away.
posted by Mizu at 8:37 PM on October 20, 2021 [12 favorites]

Is there a reason bar soap won’t work?
posted by MexicanYenta at 8:41 PM on October 20, 2021 [35 favorites]

Like the suggestions above, foam has a different texture than regular liquid soap and is worth a try. And, like people have said, bar soap works fine too.

Personally (as a person who dislikes soap that leaves a lotion-like residue or is scented), I like the Seventh Generation "free and clean" liquid soap. It's as slimy as any other liquid soap, but washes away quickly and doesn't have any strong scent.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:50 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]

If bar soap is too slippery to deal with, what about using a soap pouch or soap bag with it? There are a bunch of different types available for sale online.
posted by unknowncommand at 8:53 PM on October 20, 2021 [5 favorites]

If it's a soap residue issue, Dr. Bronner's castile soap is clean-rinsing. You can get unscented if scent is an issue. If scent is not an issue, the peppermint variety is widely available in the US.

If the issue is cleanliness when out of the home and using the toilet, moist towelettes might be useful. They're somewhat more cleansing than hand sanitizer, if you take the time to wipe your hands thoroughly.
posted by tuesdayschild at 9:10 PM on October 20, 2021 [3 favorites]

I have sensory issues including a dislike of creamy slimy things such as lotion. I don't mind liquid soap all that much, but I do really prefer foaming hand soap. The texture is lighter and not goopy, it disperses easily over my hands without the need to futz around working up a lather like you do with regular liquid soap and it rinses off readily without leaving a residue. I hate soap where you rinse and rinse and rinse and your hands still feel slippery like they have soap left on them.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 9:24 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]

We bought an automated soap dispenser for like $20? Kids love getting soap out of it now. Would that make it fun?

I hear you on the creamy sunscreen issue. The struggle is real.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:51 PM on October 20, 2021 [1 favorite]

I like soap powder. It's gritty and has a mild scent, if any. I don't know if this would be better or worse for your son.
posted by Temeraria at 9:59 PM on October 20, 2021 [4 favorites]

Nthing Dr. Bronner’s! It rinses clean and is less drying/stripping than many other soaps - also works well diluted, and so you can dial down the “soapy skin” feeling to a level that works for you.

I’m not sure if this contributes for your son, but I personally hate the flimsiness of plastic soap dispensers - they slip and fall off and make a bang and ARGH. I use a mini bottle for hands - you can buy them in a truly tiny travel size, as well as something more like 6-ish ounces, and the cap has a nice satisfying click open and closed - or there might be nice, weighted, refillable pumps or foamers that would stay in place and feel comfortable and secure to use.
posted by rrrrrrrrrt at 10:47 PM on October 20, 2021

I came to say castile bar soap. It's just olive oil and whatever saponification thing they do. It doesn't suds up much (you have to work at it) and it washes away squeaky clean. I use it on my head and hair (when it's short) but not the rest of my body because it's so squeaky clean (body get like Ivory or Dove or something more normal).

Ditto on sorta needing to know what part of the liquid soap experience is the trigger thing.
posted by zengargoyle at 10:48 PM on October 20, 2021

There have been times that I have just splashed my sensory kiddos hands with hand sanitizer and just let them then rinse that off…
posted by pairofshades at 10:56 PM on October 20, 2021 [2 favorites]

I like this automatic motion-detecting foaming soap dispenser. It's been working well for almost/about a year now.
posted by amtho at 11:39 PM on October 20, 2021

Just a note that if the foaming soap works for the sensory issue but you have other preferences you can't match, like scent, you can take pretty much any liquid soap and dilute it with water around 2:1 to 10:1 (water:soap) and it will work in a foaming dispenser. We use Dr. Bronner's this way; that's already pretty liquid so we keep it on the more concentrated side, about 3:1 for hand soap and 2:1 for shower suds.
posted by solotoro at 12:40 AM on October 21, 2021 [8 favorites]

FYI the one I linked comes with a specially marked bottle just to help you mix regular pump liquid soap with water, to put it in the dispenser.

Note: I tried to make liquid soap out of bar soap once -- glycerin soap -- and it did NOT WORK. Non-glycerin soap might work?
posted by amtho at 1:08 AM on October 21, 2021

If lather itself isn't a problem, then perhaps travel soap paper would be helpful for when he needs to wash his hands outside the home.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 1:48 AM on October 21, 2021 [10 favorites]

Yet another person coming in to say "why not just use bar soap". You can get it at a kabillion price points, sizes, and scents, and it's usually cheaper than regular soap. Hell, you could even save up the little mini bars of soap you get at hotels and use them.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:53 AM on October 21, 2021 [4 favorites]

Three tips from a teacher of school-age kids to consider to help your son perhaps feel happier in general around soap:

1) Learning that soap works by literally making things too slippery for dirt/etc to cling onto blew my mind as a child and helped me relax about which soap I bought and whether it was “effective”. Maybe there’s a kid-friendly way to demystify soap overall, like a fun video or an experiment you could do.

2) I have really enjoyed finding beautiful and artisanal bar hand/body soaps online during the pandemic because I just could not handle the harshness (and frankly medical-panic-slash-anxiety vibes) of hand sanitiser in my home anymore. Now, I’m in Hong Kong, where this local company makes cool basic handmade soaps and invites folks in to try their hand at making their own in soapmaking workshops sometimes. It might be cool for you and your son to visit a similar place near you to learn about where it all comes from, even if he’s not super into touching anything on his own.

3) Until a few years ago I did not really think about nurturing and caring for my skin so it wasn't just healthy and clean, but so it felt nice - not just dirt-free, but soft and moisturised, for example. Today there’s way more marketing of skin stuff to boys than ever before, so I wonder if there’s a way to help your son explore textures and senses he does like in the body/skincare space that bring him joy or happiness.
posted by mdonley at 4:05 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]

I don't know if this is fun enough to overcome the sensory unpleasantness, but does your kid know how to make soap bubbles with his hands? (Rub soap over hands, put palms together, slowly separate hands while keeping index finger and thumb together, admire rainbows on the resulting film, blow gently and steadily, get a bubble)
posted by trig at 4:33 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]

They do make bar soap that's antibacterial too... As the advice from 2020 still stands... ANY soap is better than no soap. So just give him those hotel-sized little soap bars... At least for now.
posted by kschang at 4:48 AM on October 21, 2021

Bar soap, I'm guessing, is not available when out and about.

Does he hate hand sanitizer gel too? They make hand sanitizer in a spray, which might be different enough?
posted by tiny frying pan at 4:54 AM on October 21, 2021

A non-slimy way to use bar soap is to rub wet hands on the bar and lather that way — not compulsory to pick up the bar.
posted by lokta at 5:19 AM on October 21, 2021

If picking up bar soap feels bad you can also get solid soap on a hook that you mount into the wall and just touch it.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 5:34 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]

I don’t have a link but if the issue is soap when out and about could you use this little travel “paper” soaps (they remind me of the old listerine breath strips)? I suppose that takes a vote of confidence during the school day depending on the kid
posted by raccoon409 at 6:21 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]

I know that wipes are a huge mess environmentally, but while you’re figuring out a longer-term solution maybe he could scrub his hands with a baby wipe and then rinse them? Or if he’s at home, scrub his hands with soap that has been rubbed into a washcloth? That way you can sidestep the slimy feeling.
posted by corey flood at 6:25 AM on October 21, 2021

Have you tried looking for or making liquid soap with some kind of grit or particles in it to change the texture? Pumice soap might not trouble him at all because the fine hard particles changes the slippery feeling into something different. However he can't use that every day if he is a kid, let alone several times a day. It would leave his hands raw.

There are other particles that are sometimes added to soap, such as bran which would be okay for his skin. Another thing you could try is adding Epsom salt to change the texture - I suspect it might dissolve if you mixed it with the liquid soap and let it stand. If so taking a spoonful of the salt in the palm and then a squirt of liquid soap on top should make it last long enough to do a good scrub before the salt loses the graininess but it does change the texture of the soap so it doesn't suds and has a oily texture - if he doesn't like slippery this will really not work, but it is a very different texture.

I wouldn't try this with salt and soap mixture, as salt can be far too rough on the hands. Baking soda, however, can be added to liquid soap and rubbed on the hands without worry, and that also might be a texture your son can tolerate.
posted by Jane the Brown at 7:54 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]

Might want to consider a different Ph on the soap as well. Many detergent soaps are acidic, while traditional soaps are alkaline. A mild soap like Dr. Bonners has products that are 9.3 and 9.8. This isn't some woo factor - acids feel very different on my skin than an alkaline product.
posted by zenon at 9:53 AM on October 21, 2021

How about boraxo-type powdered hand soap? It's all we had in elementary school, and it's absolutely unlike any other hand soap in terms of texture.
posted by sleeping bear at 10:38 AM on October 21, 2021 [1 favorite]

Definitely depends on the nature of his sensory issues. I, as an autistic adult with many exciting sensory issues, really despise scented soaps (with the exception of a few very specific smells, like vanilla). Anything "floral" is a no go. So if your kid doesn't like strong smells, unscented is the way to go.

If it's a texture or residue thing, foam is also a great option. My favorite hand soap right now is an unscented foaming variety from the Vermont soap company (IIRC). It doesn't reek and it rinses cleanly without drying your hands out too much.
posted by aecorwin at 12:25 PM on October 21, 2021

Another foam-soap recommendation, but in case it's a "things drip onto my skin which feels too messy" or "risk of dispenser toppling is too scary" issue, I like this dispenser which prints a preformed cloud of foam onto my hand when pressed down, only takes one hand to both operate and receive soap, and the operation makes the dispenser more stable, not less. I am sure there are less expensive versions of this device, and I'd recommend unscented soap, although I personally find the yuzu version pleasant enough.
posted by All hands bury the dead at 12:55 PM on October 21, 2021

Oh, and the travel paper soap leaves referred to by raccoon409 are available here.
posted by All hands bury the dead at 1:01 PM on October 21, 2021

I hate scented soaps because I don't like my hands smelling perfumey-- it alters a bite of food, a drink from a beverage, or a burning cigar, which are 3 favorite things that don't work as well if the scent isn't right.

I definitely recommend Dr. Bronner's soap. I dilute it and put it into a foamer pump for regular kitchen hand-washing, though I also use a bar of soap in the bathroom for handwashing, usually Kirk's Soap. Both have a nice scent if you hold them up to your nose, but once it's on your hands as a lather, it's very low-key. Bronner's does have an unscented, but I stick with the peppermint. Kirk's soap are generic "Fresh" scents but I can hardly tell them apart, and they don't stick to my hands.

I also use the peppermint to wash my smoky beard before I go to bed, because the smoke odor gets trapped in my CPAP mask otherwise. You know what odor doesn't get trapped in my beard? Dr. Bronner's Peppermint soap smell-- it really does wash away nearly every whit of peppermint scent, while still making for a pleasant wash.

Both soaps I like, I've noticed, are Castille soaps. Maybe that accounts for the way they don't hang a scent on me; I don't know.
posted by Sunburnt at 8:01 PM on October 21, 2021