In an attempt to show willing, we order Forrest’s Seafood Feast, which is “No 1 Guests Favorite”. Yes, of course it’s spelt like that. The item pictured is a red metal contraption holding four paper cones. One has breaded shrimp, the next fried battered fish, and the third “hush pups” which are deep-fried tumours of fish with sweetcorn. Our waiter is moved (or trained) to tell us that the cones aren’t full of these items. They are laid on top of chips. Lots of chips.
I admire the honesty. Like everything else here it isn’t cheap. At £15.50 is it too much to hope the chips will be cooked? There is half a field of flaccid potato on the table. The deep-fried items taste of all hope lost. Next to them are dipping sauces made with so much emulsifier your own bodily fluids start to bind with the dish. We have a dessert sampler of various sugared carbohydrates alongside cream from a can. I expect a “cease and desist” letter from my pancreas any day soon.