How long should I wait before pushing my friend to pass on my résumé?
July 22, 2013 6:57 PM   Subscribe

A friend offered to pass my résumé along for a job I want. How do I follow up with my friend without being rude?

After years and years of being luckless in finding employment and in networking, a friend of mine who works as a recruiter decided I would be perfect for a particular position that needs to be filled ASAP. This job pays more than I ever expected to make at a time when money's really tight, and I'm desperate to get out of my current, soul-killing job.

My friend made the offer to pass me along as her first-choice candidate for the job on Friday and I emailed her with my résumé immediately. I know it's too early to ask her if she passed it on since it's only Monday and she's likely very busy, but when won't it be too early? What's the best practice for following up with a friend and asking if she's passed along my résumé or heard anything from the potential employer? I don't want to make her regret the favor by pestering her, but she's the type who may forget to either email my résumé along or tell me if the employer turned me down so that I don't get my hopes up. How do I word a casual reminder email and when can I send it? I hate mixing business with friendship so this is a weak area for me and I'd love some help!
posted by pineappleheart to Work & Money (12 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I might go with "Hey, I'm really grateful that you were so willing to send my resume along like that. Can I buy you a drink/coffee/wanna come over for spaghetti?"

It reminds without being in any way a nag because it's been reframed as "Hey I would like to do something small for you in return."
posted by Andrhia at 7:02 PM on July 22, 2013 [16 favorites]

You totally can follow up today with an email along these lines:

"Dear [Friend], thanks for offering to pass along my resume for [dream job] at [company]. I understand that they are hoping to fill this position ASAP, so I just wanted to check in to ask whether you had a chance to pass along my resume. I don't mean to be a nuisance—I'm just really excited about this opportunity. If you could let me know the hiring manager's name, I'll follow up with them from here on out. Thanks again for your help."
posted by ottereroticist at 7:03 PM on July 22, 2013 [2 favorites]

I think you could send a quick one tomorrow: "Hi friend, would just like to confirm you received my resume for the job as we discussed. Please keep me informed of any developments. Thanks."

You're basically saying 'did my part, up to you, please acknowledge'. Rather than saying 'have you done your part yet?', which can be annoying. Also, if you need to follow up again later, you can ask if there has been any news or developments, instead of asking 'have you done your part yet', again sidestepping the annoying.
posted by PercussivePaul at 7:06 PM on July 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

I should mention that I already bought her an extravagant dinner as thanks for agreeing to pass along my résumé. My credit card can't handle more thanks!
posted by pineappleheart at 7:10 PM on July 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Nothing wrong with being keen, I say follow up. Ask if she's heard anything yet.
posted by Youremyworld at 7:15 PM on July 22, 2013

You guys are friends, so I'd just email her something tomorrow -- something you'd email her anyway, a link to something funny or to a wine-tasting you guys have been talking about going to or whatever -- and then add, at the end, "hey, did you get a chance to pass my resume along to [whoever]? Let me know if they need anything else from me!"

I find "let me know if you need anything else from me!" is a convenient way to say, "dude, did you do this thing or what?" without actually being aggro about it.
posted by Countess Sandwich at 7:21 PM on July 22, 2013 [2 favorites]

"Thanks for passing my resume along. Let me know if they need any additional references/samples of my work/links to my portfolio/etc. And say, what's a good length of time to wait before I follow up? Should I contact someone specific to do so?"
posted by padraigin at 7:26 PM on July 22, 2013

I've worked for organizations where connecting and networking has been a key job competency. I've also passed on resumes to hiring managers where people have got jobs almost immediately.

I do this sort of thing because it's intrinsically good, and I've never once expected anyone to buy me lunch or dinner or whatever. I do expect that the people I've connected help connect others. It's what builds community (and if I can help bypass an HR gatekeeper or a "recruiter" who takes a cut, all the better).

I think you should manage your expectations. If you don't have a personal connection to the hiring manager, expecting that your resume and an interview will get you a job is sort of likely hitting a bullet with a bullet.

Be prepared to not get the job.

Also, be prepared for this process to take time. It's the summertime, people are trying to take time off, or are trying to get stuff done to take time off. Don't be surprised if this stretches out until the end of September.

Fundamentally, though, what you need to do is approach networking not as a method of exchanging resumes, but as a way to meet new people. Once you meet new people you "manage the relationship" and get to know them. The more people you know, the more opportunities you will find.
posted by KokuRyu at 7:31 PM on July 22, 2013 [7 favorites]

I think it's odd that she accepted the dinner from you as a thanks without knowing that you got the job. I have passed along many many resumes both as a recruiter and an employee and would never accept something like that without knowing that my friend had crossed the finish line.

Anyway, it's fine to follow up today (if today's business hours are over, then tomorrow) with casual wording. Like "thanks for passing my resume along! I'll check back with you in a few days to see if you got any word back, ok?"

Good luck!!
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:14 PM on July 22, 2013 [6 favorites]

I'd say wait a few days. Wednesday, or Thursday.

You should think of some thing you "forgot" to tell her about your past experience or when you could start, or something, and apologize for forgetting and .. "oh, yea, what did your boss say about my resume?"
posted by cupcake1337 at 8:51 PM on July 22, 2013

Your friend's job is to be a recruiter. She is presumably good at her job. Trust that if she has some news, she'll share it with you.

If I were your friend and you started bugging me on Monday about a CV you'd sent on Friday, I'd be a little irritated.

There's another reason to wait here, too. A good recruiter is a valuable thing to have by your side. I have a friend in a professional field who's gotten her last three jobs through the same recruiter, because this woman understands my friend's skillset and puts her forward for positions that she's likely to get. Even if you don't score this job, your friend may be able to recommend you for other jobs in future, but she's unlikely to want to do that if she thinks you're going to be difficult to work with.

So my advice would be deep breaths, positive thoughts, give it a few days. And good luck!
posted by Georgina at 9:01 PM on July 22, 2013 [7 favorites]

I (somewhat transparently) sent my friend a link to an article that was tangentially related to something we'd discussed when we met on Friday to talk about jobs, and she immediately responded that she'd forgotten to send along my resume and was forwarding it now. Thanks, everyone!
posted by pineappleheart at 8:26 AM on July 23, 2013 [4 favorites]

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